I have too much shit.

After taking two days from the house renovation/unpacking/clearing 25 years worth of clutter for a fabulous New Year's at Ross's with friends - hell, we're more than all friends, we're family - I was not eager to jump back into working mode.

But I have no choice. So Young is moving back to New York and my parents are coming on Thursday.

Back to "While You Were Out". God, I wish I was motivated when I didn't have a fire lit underneath me. I would actually get some sleep.

Yet, it is not only my New Year's Intention (so much better than resolution) to live a more healthy lifestyle, but also a more feng shui'd lifestyle.

But how much is appropriate to keep from your past? I was cleaning out the other small guest room and ran across four or five more boxes of my shit. Plus I have a living room full of shit from moving out of NYC. I feel like I have run the gamut - I've cleared up or seen most of my stuff from college and Coro and now I'm hitting my professional life stuff (if you can call it that). Add in clothes, random tchokies, toys, stuffed animals, files, and posters - and you've got the mountain of mess that I am currently staring at in my room. Damnhellass. Many people prefer to just throw it all away. I can't seem to do it. It was my life and there were parts that were too good to throw away.

I suppose that I could, however, do without the one foot Cartman doll.

Or, I could throw it in the guest room next to mine. Not a bad idea. I can throw many stuffed animals over there. It adds to the folksy charm of the house.

Hmm.

Where else can I store folksy charm?

If I move things to the basement, they may never see the light of day again. So should I just throw it away? Probably. I think that's a rule from here on out. But I just am running out of space. If my dad hadn't already commented to me that he thinks this house has become my warehouse and storage space, I really wouldn't care. But the Christ! I've already created bags and bags worth of shit, I can't believe that I still have this much shit.

Not too hard to understand, though. I mean, in my defense, it is seven years worth of shit - parts of it 25 years worth of shit. I started storing things here in college since the house is close to school. So imagine four years of college - moving out of the dorms and just throwing your crap in one place, but never really going through it. Then imagine moving to New York City for three years, living in three different apartments, throwing boxes of stuff you don't really need in your apartment - and are too busy to adequately weed out so you just need to put your stuff somewhere - in one place.

That's what I'm dealing with. Seven years of moving. I only lived in one place for longer than a year. And even then, I moved for five to six months before heading back here. I don't mean to be a pack rat, but I also never really allowed myself the time to pack in a way that would be effective, meaning that I just threw shit into boxes or bags and moved them from one place to another instead of giving myself time to weed out and throw away before leaving.

This is worse than moving, though. Because it also coincides with work on the house. And if anyone's been to my house in Delaware, you know that it's not more than just needed, but that there's also a lot of shit in this house that needs to be thrown out and given to the Salvation Army. Because it isn't just a dumping ground for me, either. My folks might bitch and moan, but there is plenty of shit that is here that is theirs that they haven't touched in years or have brought from the house in Syracuse or apartments along the way. Not entirely fair, but they are both older and not in the best physical condition, so besides being happy that So Young has been helping me, I suppose that it's up to me to make sure that things are done.

I have cleaned out two rooms upstairs full of shit from the 70's and beyond. We've de-wallpapered two rooms and painted them. We have moved furniture around. And on top of that, I have to go through my shit. If there was at least one room that was completely empty, that would have improved the situation. But alas, it is what it is. We're working on getting rid of the wallpaper in the front foyer and stairs as well as the ceiling in the kitchen where the wallpaper has extensive water damage or has come off. The problem is that once you start working on one of those, you see other problem spots. Not neat at all.

So I doubt this is entertaining for any of you. Except that I'm kvetching to you. Sure, it would be easy to say to me, "Throw it all away". I'm trying, dammit!

The good news is that since my most recent stuff is already downstairs, it'll make it easier to pack. But I still have at least five boxes worth of shit down there that I have no freakin' idea what to do with.

It's keeping me distracted from the fact that I still do not know when my new job starts or where I will finally be placed. Or the fact that NY State has decided to temporarily suspend my unemployment checks until I appear in person in Syracuse. But I don't know when I will be expected to go to work (now that we're much closer to my supposed starting weeks) and if it's next week, then I don't really need that check. Of course, if it's two weeks, then my ass is going to Syracuse to get that check. That's another story in itself.

Packing sucks. Unpacking sucks. Uncluttering is liberating, but taking forever. Hmmm. Now I'm getting the urge to throw all of this shit away. Better hop to it and do it now before I change my mind!