LOOK! A NEW POST!
In the immortal words of Johnny Goodtimes, "Ho-ooo my goodness."
Yes, I have been under a rock. Or at least circling it a few times. Life has been full of travel and craziness since the last post waaay back when. So let's do a quick "what-the-hell-have-you-been-up-to" list. I've learned a lot in the past month. And I have much to share, as you'll see. This is long, I warn you. You may want to grab a snack. Or come back periodically. It has been a long time:
1. Work has been kicking my ass. Figuratively and literally.
2. I have now only spent two weekends in Albany since I moved here in December. This must end at some point. I can't believe I'm saying it, but it's true. All this travel has kicked my little monkey ass.
3. Where have I been travelling to? For work? NYC. And not just day trips, hoo no. At least two days a week. I know, I'm bitching. I did, after all, used to live there and you bet your pants that I miss it like the Dickens. But having to travel back and forth between the Capitol and the City every week for over the past three months is exhausting. INSANITY!
4. I've also spent a fair amount of time between DC, Philly, and Southern Jersey. Hey, I figure I might as well see my friends while I'm at it.
Moral of story: I miss living close to all of my good friends.
5. The weather in Albany is pretty lame. It gets nice, then cold. I understand it's happening all over the place. I would like to personally thank Global Warming.
6. I spent a couple of days in DC a few weekends ago (it's all starting to blend together since I went to California). It was absolutely gorgeous. The weather was a warm 70 degrees. It was fantastic hanging out with MadDog and Corsica and having lunch with the Divas - except that once I crossed south of the Mason-Dixon line, my throat started to swell, my eyes started to burn, and my nose started itching. If there's anything I
DON'T miss about the good 'ol state of Maryland, it's the pollen count.
Moral of story: carry Allegra at all times.
7. That same weekend was the Big East Tournament and I'm happy to say Syracuse kicked some serious ass at Madison Square Garden.
Moral of story: Gerry McNamara kicks ass and I'm gonna miss him.
8. Once I stopped being distracted by the Syracuse/Georgetown game that evening in DC, we had a fantastic night out in Chinatown, Adams Morgan, and Capitol Hill. The last stop of the night was at a bar I'd been to before, Hawk and Dove. Except that I didn't know that there was dancing on the top floor. Cheesetastic. I haven't seen that many tube tops and sweaty boys trying to rub up against girls since I went to a frat party in college.
Moral of story: I think I'm getting older when I can't appreciate a dance party, no matter how cheesy it is.
9. Mad Dog and I went shopping the next gorgeous day in DC. Surprisingly, I didn't spend a lot of money.
10. We did, however, see lots of minis (children, in our speak). One of the minis had on this huge hat to match the one his dad was wearing. It was very Amish-looking. He was holding his dad's hand as him and his family walked down the street. The hat wasn't as strange as the fact that every three steps, the mini opened his mouth to scream. Three steps later, he'd scream again. His family didn't pay a damn bit of attention. Another mini was carrying a shovel as he crossed the street with his mother on their way to a park. It wasn't a real shovel, it was a plastic one. But I urge you to think. How many times have you seen a mini wielding a shovel? Probably not too many times. We also noticed he had on little gardening boots. Adorable. I wonder if the parks department cares.
Moral of story: minis are wicked cute. But if your child insists on screaming while walking, you need to rethink your parenting skills.
11. I find myself being too exhausted to finish unpacking my apartment when I get home at night from work when I actually AM in Albany. Yes, it is March. Yes, I moved to Albany in December. Yes, I still have about six boxes to finish unpacking a lot of things to find places for. Yes, my delicate Feng Shui sensibilites are being shart upon. Trust me, this won't last much longer. I just need a day and an afternoon. I shall settle soon.
12. Last week, I joined Boom-Boom for St. Patrick's Day events in NYC. It's tradition. There's so many events to go to. All work-related. Seriously. They've found a work day to turn into a party where you're seriously running into everyone in the NYC Labor Movement as well as elected officials. Needless to say, you probably don't remember much of the work you did that day since it starts at 7am at the Mayor's Breakfast.
Moral of story: I wish I was Irish sometimes.
13. Boom-Boom and I knew we were going to be in the city together, so we shared a room at my usual hotel. This time, instead of giving me what I asked for (I did make the reservations that week, so I can't really complain), they gave us a king-sized bed in a usual-sized room. Which isn't a problem. Until I got there. After assessing the situation, I immediately called Boom-Boom on the train and explained that because I was her friend and I loved her that she need to know that a. I was a spooner and that b. our room faintly smelled like urine and I did not pee on the floor and/or the wall. Seriously. It smelled like pee. But whatever, it was St. Patty's Day and I noticed there were three firemen from California checking in when I was. And they were cute. So I quickly forgot about the pee-smelling room until I got wafts of it every now and then. Neat.
14. Needless to say, given our work schedules, Boom-Boom and I opted to miss the first two events on St. Patty's Day and go to the 10am event to start off the day. Within minutes of arrival, I had a beer and breakfast. In short order, I had another beer and a shot or so of Jameson on our way to the next event where I had another beer. We made our way over to the Roosevelt Hotel where I continued my beer-drinkery.
15. They do this big thing at the Roosevelt where they have the bagpipers and drummers play inside the hotel before the parade. McMai (my Japanese hero) and I couldn't resist going over to watch. We debated jumping in the middle of the bagpipers and doing a geisha-like dance before running away while laughing in a high-pitched tone complete with hand over mouth, but decided against it.
16. I still think the idea was funny.
Moral of story: Not everyone thinks my self-inflicting Asian humor is funny. I hate those people. Not really. Or do I? Ah, being the inscrutable Asian stereotype. ("I'm not inscrutable! You can scrute me!" - regards to Christopher Durang and Drama Mama and mindy.)
17. After a few hours and beers, McMai and our other labor/Coro friend (we're all over the place), decided to go to the Fireman's event at the Armory.
18. There really is nothing like being surrounded by 2,000 firemen in full dress uniform from all over the country.
19. Absolutely nothing like it.
20. We grabbed beers and then downed them quickly when I realized that firemen were carrying pitchers of beer. So we were halfway through our first beer when we met Ed, a fireman from Costa Mesa, CA who had a full pitcher of beer. This was pretty much what we did for a while.
21. It actually took us a good hour before we found an actual FDNY fireman. We realized how much we love New Yorkers in that instant because instead of the usual small talk, we actually had a debate about the proposed West Side Stadium (thank you, McMai) and NYC politics. Niiice. Did I mention that firemen are hot?
22. Scariest part of the day: almost being accosted by an older gentleman fireman (think Chester Child Molester Creepy). It happened to be the same fireman we had met at the 10am event where McVranich (we're all Irish on St. Patty's Day) actually had touched this older fireman's rear (long story). After he tried to make out with both McMai and me for beads, some other fireman said he needed for us to show him our boobs for his beads. I asserted that he needed to buy me dinner first before anything would be shown. It was like a meat market in there.
Moral of story: they're just beads. And they're cheap. I ain't showing nothing for that or making out with you unless they're diamonds or pearls. Or both (regards to Prince or whatever he's calling himself now).
23. But firemen are hot, so it's okay. And for the most part, they were polite and gentlemanly. At least the married ones were. Actually, the FDNY firemen where pretty good about it. The other firemen were like dogs in heat.
Moral of story: Did I mention firemen are hot?
24. After this, we went to another bar where it was starting to get super crowded because it was the beginning of the next wave of revelrers: those who had just gotten out of work. We managed to find some space at a pub in midtown. I noticed that with the large amount of firemen in the room as well as the large number of people in the room, no one seemed to particularly be paying attention to the fire code. Oh well.
25. We then left the bar where we had space (albeit quite limited) for another bar where we were practically on top of each other. It was exactly like a frat party. I haven't seen a crowded place like that where everyone's drunk and trying to rub up against each other since the weekend before at the cheese-tastic dance club at Hawk and Dove.
Moral of story: I hated frat parties then and I still hate them now.
26. Given the situation noted in number 25, I decided to call it a night. McVranich had enough as well. Ten minutes after arriving at the pee-smelling hotel room, I got a call from Boom-Boom saying she'd be home in a minute. 10:30. More than 12 hours of drinking. Lots of stuff. And I was sober
all day. I guess the legendary tolerance has returned with a vengence.
Moral of this story: iv's of beer do nothing to me. I need to do more shots.
27. The next day, we headed to Philly where I was directing a reading and then Fabs and Jilly-pants had their birthday party that night.
28.
QUICK SHOUT OUT: HAPPY BIRTHDAY FABS AND WALSH - THE TWO BEST FRIENDS A GIRL COULD ASK FOR.
29. The reading went quite well. I think I actually might like the play now. I hated it before the reading, but now I have a new appreciation for it.
30. The birthday party was a lot of fun. It was a crash of worlds for me, college friends, high school friends, NYC friends, and Philly friends. And yes, the birthday girls had a great time, too.
31. The rest of the weekend was quiet, relaxing, and I got a lot of work done. Surprisingly. The past week has been busy with work, but nothing to really write home about.
Moral of story: I need more quiet and relaxing days.
32. Last night, I went to an AFL dinner. The girls from work went since we had the tickets and we were representing AFSCME. It was fine. Sort of boring, actually. But the food was fantastic. The most interesting part of the night had to do with the priest who gave the blessing. Instead of saying, "This goes out to all my homies," he insisted on listing as many sorts of people as he could. "For all of those who are underpaid; for those who are greedy; for those who work hard; for those that coast by; for those who have tongues; for those who don't..." I'm serious. And he had a lisp and substituted "W's" for "R's". After his litany of every possible person in the world, we wondered why he couldn't have just said "everyone." Oh, and we didn't know all the folks at our table. Except that the 90's called and they want their parted-hair down the middle back from the guy sitting across from me. And Ricki Lake called, too. This woman across the table had the exact same hair.
Moral of story: never allow me and my co-workers to sit at a table together and a formal event. We
will find ways to amuse ourselves.
33. I thought that would be the last post until I got onto the train to come to NYC this afternoon. Oh yes. More interesting happenings.
34. Since when is it socially acceptable to stare at a person while they are getting their things ready? And to lean your seat as far back as possible so that no one can sit behind you? I swear, this guy sitting across from me was the most obnoxious guy I've seen in a long time. He kept coughing and sneezing without covering his mouth, he found every possible way to take up space, talked loudly on his cellphone, and found it okay to stare at me the whole time. I mean, I know I'm cute and shit, but Jesus. If there weren't as many people, I would have moved.
Moral of this story: don't be that guy.
35. Then I ordered some food from a Korean restaurant near the hotel. I should have known there would be problems when the woman on the phone kept saying "34th Street?" and I kept saying, "No, 31st Street." After half an hour of waiting, I got a call from the delivery man who said, "34th Street?" It took at least twenty, "No, 31st Streets" before he finally figured out that my hotel was on 31st Street. And no, I'm not being an asshole, they were not from the same continent or country for you to label me an ignorant bastard on this. OH! And then, when the delivery guy finally did show up, the bill was $16 and some change. I handed him a $20 and asked for a dollar back. He promptly said, "A dollar?" I said yes (I need the change to add to the money I was going to give the housekeeper tomorrow). He asked again, "A dollar?" I nodded. He then stuck his hand in his pocket and turned on his heel and walked away. Eh?
Moral of story: I can walk the block away to Koreatown next time. I was just too tired to think it was going to be a problem. I know better now.
So yes, I've lived and learned quite a bit. And now you know what I've been up to. And what I've learned, for that matter. I hope you did enjoy this installment.
I hope it'll be sooner the next time I blog. So that it's at least shorter for all of us involved. I shall work on it.
Until then, I hope this blog finds all of you well. Thank you for your continued patronage of my twisted little blog.
Cheers,
Keeza
I mean, brilliant!