NEW DEVELOPMENTS

So the move is officially done. Not the settling in, of course. But I will say it's coming together nicely.

I realize I've been negligent in my blogging duties again and usually I have more to say, however, in this case, I shall attempt yet another list of things that are on my mind for the benefit of the three of you that read this. Oh, I know there are more and it's usually random, but it's nice to know some of you actually read this. Whooot.

1. Moving sucks. Donkey dick. Of course, moving in the summertime really really sucks.

2. The other reason why moving in the summertime sucks is because no matter how many times you or your new landlord call the handyman, he refuses to return your calls. I'm ready to find the guy and kick his ass. If I wasn't so worried about damaging the 1917 original windowsills, I would have installed the air conditioners myself. At this point, I'm willing to do it. Because it's hot as balls here.

3. If I ever see the handyman, I'm gonna punch him in the neck.

4. My new apartment is incredibly beautiful. So all in all, it was worth the move. I just need to keep telling myself that.

5. As I contemplate the piles of crap that I sort through and figure out how much of it to save and how much of it to throw out, I realize that after 27 years of life, having this much stuff for an admitted pack-rat isn't all too bad. Of course, then I am inspired to throw more away, but it's hard when you've whittled your life down to 20 boxes and assorted furniture and musical instruments. It's the all the tchotchkes and baubles I've accumulated. Sure, some of it is really kitschy, so perhaps this task won't be as bad as I think it is.

6. I apparently love to speak in Yiddish when describing my stuff. Oy.

7. I am sad to find that people at this age in my life will continue to disappoint me. I understand this is a facet of life and I do try very hard to be non-judgemental or throw my own views of how I think I should act onto other people. But you know what it comes down to? When you tell someone you're gonna do something, it's not that hard. Do it. If you're not gonna do it, then don't tell someone or promise them things that you cannot deliver. It's not only disappointing, it shows exactly what kind of person you are. And frankly, that means someone I cannot rely on. If you do not have the basic tenants of respect for me, you cannot expect me to have them for you.

8. I realize that was a deep thought, but I have come to a point in my life where you either respect me or you don't. And everyone has differing levels of respect. But if you cannot be held to your word, I'm sorry, I don't really have time for you. I save my time for the people that respect me enough to do what they say they're gonna. This may sound shallow and ridiculous, but in all honesty, that's what grownups and adults do. Life is not a consequence-free environment. Take responsibility for your actions. It's part of being a person, if not a human being. Why should I waste my time and energy on people who can't or won't do that? I'm so happy I've finally begun to understand it.

9. Closure is an interesting thing. It's easier to have closure when you're angry about a situation as opposed to confused by it. And time is a huge help in knowing the difference between the two. But at the end of the day, things happen for a reason and along the way, shit happens. You can't control other people but yourself. And in the end, closure is really what can make you feel like you can move on. And I've realized I've spent the last month doing such a thing. And I've learned that closure is not something that anyone else can give you, much like happiness. Thank god for Eleanor Roosevelt reminding me every day that "no one can make you feel inferior without your permission."

And it makes me feel good to know that I've survived yet another life lesson. And I'd love if life would stop throwing me lessons and give me some of the good stuff for just a little while. But hey, that is simply too much to ask for.

So loyal readers and friends, life is as it should be: constantly challenging, always amusing somehow, infuriating, and most of all - happening. So in the end, I really don't have much to bitch about. I'm still here. And hopefully wiser, stronger - and sweaty because the freakin' handyman has yet to return my calls.

Oy. Contentment comes with some cost. In the meantime, I'm praying for the fall to come.