10.08.2003

I'm sure you've been waiting with baited breath for the moment I would turn my attention to California. Oh, I'm sorry, it's CAHli-foh-nya now.

I'm just so dammed surprised that it actually happened. It brings back conversations of direct democracy. Is it democracy for citizens to be able to recall someone they reelected less than a year ago? One would argue yes.

Yet, let's quickly examine the issue of ballot access. In New York, ballot access laws are so tight it's ridiculous. However, in California, anyone with a couple hundred of friends and a couple thousand dollars can get on the ballot. Take Gary Colman, for example. Or the stripper who wanted to make lap dances tax deductible (What was her name? She was working on her concession speech at around 2am EST. That last sentence makes me laugh out loud). Of course, there's Arnold. And the other 131 candidates. I'm moving to California so that I can run for governor.

I'm going to take this example and use it for the case AGAINST non-partisan elections in NYC. Er, let's be more clear: the Help Republicans Get Elected initiative or the Elimination of Party Primaries initiative. I promise to be brief. This is, after all, my job, to study elections. Let's just put it this way: the California recall election is the perfect reason for us not to move in that direction. People with more money get better access to voters by default. People who aren't as well known, without parties to give them the grassroots support and funding that they need barely stand a chance against someone who is a movie star or billions of dollars or name-recognition. NYC has worked tirelessly to get a campaign finance system that is the envy of other states. When you open up the ballot to anyone who has party affiliation - or at best, a minimal party affiliation - and no primary to allow members of that party to select their candidate, isn't that the worst thing we can do? Make the political party machinery operate below the radar screen without input from its members?

How about no, Scott?

Okay. I'm done with the comparison. Let's go back to California.

I'm waiting for Ahnold to speak, rip off half of his face and show us that he's really the Terminator. This whole thing is just too surreal. Then again, the Cubs are in the race for the NL Pennant and we're about to see the big show between...the BoSox and Yankees. More on this in a second.

Was anyone else terrified when the heckler in the crowd responded to his statement about the Davis call? "Noh! noh! I rehally appreciated his cahll. We haeve to wohk togezer as Ca-li-foh-nians."

Now I suppose that if citizens are going to keep voting for Republicans, they might as well be for Republicans like Mike Bloomberg or Arnold Schwarzenegger. Pro-choice, pro-gay rights. At least we know he did something right - he married a Kennedy. Of course, if he was a conservative Republican, like say, George W. Bush, I highly doubt that the Kennedy family would have appeared on that stage last night.

Why do I not have a problem with Governor Terminator besides the fact that it's so damn surreal? Because I know that when he talks about protecting and expanding gay rights, he means it. I know that when he talks about better education, he's sincere. I know that when he talks about a woman's right to choose, he will protect that. I appreciate the fact that I can trust him to keep those promises, or try as hard as he can to make sure that he pushes for what he says he will. He doesn't have to be a politician or have experience for me to believe that. He is, after all, Conan.

See, what I don't like are those Republicans who talk moderate and walk a different walk. Two Georges in my lifetime have done that, won, and reversed course - like we didn't expect them to do that . I'm speaking, of course, about George W. and George Pataki. Republicans dressing up like Democrats to get more votes is something that pisses me off. At least I know that Arnold is more of a moderate dressing up like a Republican. How? Because he's been ridiculously consistent about those views his whole life.

It'll be interesting to see how this turns out.

And quickly, let me just say that I don't really care to watch the World Series because I think the prize fight has been in the pennant races. Did anyone see the Cubs/Mariners game last night? I caught the replay on the news - nailbiter!

And Yankees vs. the Red Sox - just epic. Sure, there's a small part of me that wants to see the Cubs play the Red Sox because I have a slight soft spot for the underdog, but we are talking about my boys here. And I sincerely am a little worried because Boston has that chip on their shoulder, but I am confident that my boys will take the day. Besides, IF the BoSox are ACTUALLY able to beat the Yanks, what would Boston bitch about then? The Big Dig?

The Boys of October are solid, polished, and as eager to beat Boston as they are to beat us. At least the Curse of the Bambino has always been in our favor. And if you will, allow me to be a New Yorker: 1918!