Ladies and Gentleman, Boys and Girls, step right up for your favorite time of the week and mine:

SOAPBOX TIME!

Okay. I can't help it. I saw it on CNN today when I was doing my daily news digest and I have to say something about it.

"Medicare to cover Viagra".

It's just too good for me to pass up. I mean, according to the President and the Republicans in office, health care is fine, but we just have to shift the burden away from the employers and back onto the employees and give citizens a "real choice" about how to handle their health care....

...by making them pay for everything. But that is another issue for another time.

Okay.

I should mention that the sub heading of the article read: "In medically needed cases."

Yeah. Could they maybe define that a little more? I mean, how do you decide who is a medical need and who isn't? Arent' these just men with Erectile Dysfunction as caused by old age? So is it really weeding it out to say "in medically needed cases"?

I'm just warming up.

In all honesty, is it really necessary for an older gentleman to have an erection? I mean, compared to things such as, I don't know, a cure for cancer? Stem cell research? Remedy for AIDS? Yes, that seems right. Let's just put those things aside so that men can have sex after they lose the ability to "hold an erection on the high holy days" (Kudos to J. Larson).

Bob Dole himself was on TV a few years back telling us how important a thing it was for them to have discovered and produced Viagra.

I just threw up a little bit thinking about that commercial. I really didn't want to know anything at all about Bob Dole's sex life. Eww. I'm thinking about it again. Shit. I did it again.

Okay. Here's why I'm pissed: I'm not a man. I don't have a penis.

And because of it, I can't get birth control on Medicaid. None of us women can. Because in today's world, insurance and Medicaid only covers the ability of men to have an erection no matter what age they are. But for us ladies, who are given the ability to give life, who already make less money than a man in the workplace, who are forced to make a decision between career and child-raising - cannot get birth control covered.

And why? Freedom of Religion. Not a bad thing, at all. Yet, because of religious fundamentalists (yes, I'm using that term when talking about Evangelicals, Christians, and Catholics - of which I was raised**), women cannot get birth control covered by insurance because basically, churches have effectively lobbied against it from happening. I have been told that legislators are too afraid to push it for fear that they'll get bitchslapped by a church. Or because they believe they are a part of the holy trinity, I don't know.

Look, I was raised Catholic. I was baptized. I am well aware of the bible and other religions. But if churches are going to play this game, if they are going to hand out anti-choice, anti-gay literature, if priests and reverends are going to continue (or begin) endorsing candidates from the pulpit because of their view on choice and/or marriage, if churches are going to raise money for anti-choice legislation and Constitutional amendments, then the churches, no matter what their denomonation, must be forced to register as lobbyists and pay taxes. I'm sorry. Well, no I'm not. Anyone or entity that choses to play politics, must abide by the rules. If women cannot have their birth control covered by insurance because of religious issues, then isn't it only fair that everyone be forced to play by the rules?

Of course, only the Democratic Women's Caucus is even discussing this up there. No one else wants to touch this. I don't even know if anyone is talking about it anymore at all, except Hillary Clinton. Whom I know is a favorite of the GOP.

Ladies, if you aren't pissed by now, here's a few other things that'll be sure to get a bee in your bonnet:

There was word around Capitol Hill with all of this Social Security talk (which is really another soapbox for another day) that Republicans and the Bush Administration have toyed with an idea for adjusted benefits based on gender - since women tend to outlive men. Translation: Women will have less Social Security benefits because they are alive for a longer period of time? I swear to god, this was just floated a few weeks ago.

And then there's the Supreme Court issue. We should all be worried. If President God-talks-only-to-me gets to put up to four Justices on the bench, we're screwed to holy hell. It's bad enough we are teetering on Roe v. Wade, we're still dealing with Bush's Global Gag Rule* (see below), the Partial Birth Abortion Legislation that has no provisions for the health of women, and now Ralph Reed practically has his own office in the West Wing.

I thought we had come so far. The conservative right becomes the mainstream and now it's not just gays and Middle Easterners hiding from the the angry mob. All of us. Women, minorities, immigrants. It's feels like open season. What's the quote? "The price of freedom is eternal vigilance." Of course, President Cowboy is too busy jamming freedom down other throats. Too bad he isn't spreading it on the homefront. I also blame John "I lost my last election to a dead guy" Ashcroft.

Every part of me wishes badly that the Democrats get their shit together soon. Part of me very badly wishes the Republicans were of the Teddy Roosevelt kind so that I can feel somewhat safe. But no, instead we've got bible-thumping, homophobic, misogynistic, good 'ol boys in the majority again. Way too "pale and male" up there.

Hmmm. I wonder why Medicaid, a federal program in the hands of those older white men in Washington, would cover Viagra...

Clearly a rhetorical question.

And quite clearly, I'm agitated by it. I've had all day to stew and think about it. Argh.

*From the Center for Reproductive Rights: "The global gag rule undermines the right to freedom of speech—a universal human right, highly valued and protected in the United States. This policy violates freedom of expression by preventing overseas reproductive health and advocacy organizations from speaking out and lobbying their own governments on their own countries’ abortion laws or policies. The global gag rule censors health-care professionals in overseas family planning clinics, depriving them of the ability to provide full and accurate information to their patients. It prohibits foreign NGOs involved in advocacy and/or health service provision from communicating with their governments in order to decriminalize or improve the safety of and access to abortion, and prohibits public education campaigns about abortion. The global gag rule is the epitome of viewpoint-based discrimination, because it does not constrain organizations working to oppose legal, safe and accessible abortion. The global gag rule also undermines the free speech rights of human rights advocates."

**These comments are not meant in anger. They are meant as a point for discussion and reference. And they are meant in frustration of what is happening to society. Anyone wishing to send concerns and hate-mail to the author are urged to do so at: Kiss my Naturally Brown Ass Productions, Washington Square Arch, TOTCHLAND, New York 10012.