JUST WHEN EVERYTHING WAS GOING RIGHT...

Something comes along and fucks it all up.

In a rough spot I'm not entirely sure how to get out of but I am glad for the people around me who are supporting me on my way through.

So I don't know how long it will take until I'm ready to feel good again. But I know the time will come. And my heart will catch up to my mind.

In the meantime, I'll be rather introspective. Throwing myself into work. Reconnecting with friends. Listening to a lot of music. Writing new music. I finally have the impetus to. I just wish I could write music when I was content. Instead of lost.

Time to find what I had given up gladly - myself.

Time to evolve.

In the meantime, let Ani DiFranco songs speak the words I can't seem to find today:

what bugs me
is that you believe what you're saying
what bothers me 
is that you don't know how you feel
what scares me
is that while you're telling me stories
you actually
believe that they are real

and i've got
no illusions about you
and guess what?
i never did
and when i said
when i said i'll take it
i meant, 
i meant as is

the first person in your life
to ever really matter
is saying the last thing
that you want to hear
and you are listening hard
through the splintering shards
of your life as it shatters
and you're standing firm
and you're staying close
and you're seeing clear

some people wear their smile like a disguise
those people who smile a lot watch the eyes
i know cause i'm like that a lot
you think everything's okay 
it is till it's not
 
some people wear their heart up on their sleave
i wear mine underneath my right pant leg strapped to my boot
don't think cause i'm easy i'm naive
don't think i won't pull it out
don't think i won't shoot
  
most people like to talk a lot
including you
you know there isn't much i have to say
that i wouldn't rather just shut up and do
i'm gonna miss you when you're gone
i'm gonna be torn
just remember that i love you
just remember you were warned
 
out of me
on to you...
 
no more.


Best to the folks that read this.  I'll be back.  I promise.