UNDER THE KNIFE. AGAIN.

In less than three days, I am officially going under the knife. Again.

No. It's not serious. At least, I can't imagine it would be.

I mean, really, the only surgery I've ever had is my wisdom teeth out. So I anticipate this one will hurt a little bit more. And no, I'm not nervous. Just not interested in the healing process and pain that will come with it.

Right. I realize I have yet to tell you what surgery I am undergoing. Well, this should help:

See, I've always wanted this to happen. Because ever since I was a kid, I used to get frequent strep throat and then I don't think I spent a month in college without an ear infection. Seriously.

It wasn't until I was in an emergency room in Buffalo last November with strep throat so severe I couldn't swallow water (and my first case of strep throat since 8 years old) that I realized the time hast arrived for me to bid a not-so-fond adieu to my enormously large tonsils and hopefully, the adenoids that accompany them.

You know how they go through phases where the medical community says, "Yes, take them all out," or "No, we stopped doing that!" Well, I fell right after a phase of "Take them all out." Meanwhile, I suffered through more than 22 years of strep throats, ear infections, developed allergies, and sore throats. The time has come for me to say, "no more."

So I shall endure this latest procedure on Friday. And miss 4th of July, perhaps. But then again, I will be accompanied by Vicodin and scores of other pain-killers. And no, I'm not anticipating being the next Rush Limbaugh, but I'm sure it'll make the time go much quicker. If not less painful.

Okay. So maybe I'm a little nervous. But it's the pain that mostly makes me nervous. I know this will pass. But I'm really hoping that I'll be back to feeling functional by Independence Day.

Dare to dream. I know. Don't laugh at my dreams. Punk.