12.19.2006

MISSING IN ACTION
I know I've been neglectful, but that has more to do with the fact that since Thanksgiving, I have travelled up and down the Northeast several times. We moved out of our family home in Delaware (that was a mindscrew) and I was in DC and NYC back and forth for work, so I'm finally getting a moment to get back to things. Of course, I leave again for X-mas and the first week of January is already filling up (why does Day One in New York start on New Year's Day? Who does that?) so it looks like I shall be very busy, indeed.

In the meantime, this is quite possibly one of the funniest things I've seen in a while. Enjoy.

Oh, and Happy Holidays! (yes, I still use the greeting because not everyone celebrates Christmas, Walmart)

*ACTUAL ENGLISH SUBTITLES USED IN FILMS MADE IN HONG KONG*

1. I am damn unsatisfied to be killed in this way.

2. Fatty, you with your thick face have hurt my instep.

3. Gun wounds again?

4. Same old rules: no eyes, no groin.

5. A normal person wouldn't steal pituitaries.

6. Damn, I'll burn you into a BBQ chicken!

7. Take my advice, or I'll spank you without pants.

8. Who gave you the nerve to get killed here?

9. Quiet or I'll blow your throat up.

10. You always use violence. I should've ordered glutinous rice chicken.

11. I'll fire aimlessly if you don't come out!

12. You daring lousy guy.

13. Beat him out of recognizable shape!

14. I have been scared shitless too much lately.

15. I got knife scars more than the number of your leg's hair!

16. Beware! Your bones are going to be disconnected.

17. The bullets inside are very hot. Why do I feel so cold?

18. How can you use my intestines as a gift?

19. This will be of fine service for you, you bag of the scum. I am sure you will not mind that I remove your manhoods and leave them out on the dessert flour for your aunts to eat. [sic, of course]

20. Yah-hah, evil spider woman! I have captured you by the short rabbits and can now deliver you violently to your gynecologist for a thorough examination.

21. Greetings, large black person. Let us not forget to form a team up together and go into the country to inflict the pain of our karate feets on some ass of the giant lizard person.

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