Alright. Let's talk about the heat and forest fires, shall we?

Global warming is freakin' killing me. The fact that I sit in sweat when I'm at home - SITTING - is disturbing. I have the sweat glands of a monkey on crack, but this is getting re-freakin'-diculous. It's hot. And it's uncomfortably hot. And I can't sleep at night because it's hot. Oy.

Now the undeniable question is whether or not we can do anything about it. Hmm, Mr. President, drilling Alaska will be good for the environment, meanwhile, while you back out of environmental treaties and deny the existance of global warming, your Americans are slowly sweating themselves to death during one of the lowest periods of rainfall and water supply EVER. Yes, that seems to make a hell of a lot of sense to me. Someone please explain to me how to start a grassroots movement that puts air conditioning in every corner of America in an effort to beat out the slow drying-up of the world. I will carry that banner and wave the flag high and proud. I realize I don't like heat, but even those friends of mine who like heat can't stand this. This entire past week has not dipped below 85 degrees - even at night - and the humidity has a fine way of making every surface sticky. Oy.

I now wish to switch gears and discuss forest fires caused by dimwitted people. In the three that I have heard about (let's make an exception for the lost hiker who wanted to be found - if I was in that situation, I'm not sure I would have done differently), two have done it unintentionally and one by a firefighter so that he could fight it and get money.

Let's talk about the unintentional ones, shall we? Some kids camping and probably drinking (and if you know me, you know that I don't have any personal grudge against drinking - AT ALL) who started a campfire and tried to make sure it was out.

Try water.

And the other woman who got a letter from her "estranged husband" starting the fire - was a parks employee who regulates the fires in the damn park. Sweet Jesus almighty, what the sam hell was she thinking?

Again, try water.

Don't even get me started on the guy who was a fireman who started the fire to get money. For starters, he had a mullet. If the people patrol existed, he would have been bitch-slapped for that a long time ago and maybe this might not have happened. I don't know. A firefighter who doesn't work because there are no fires usually signals a good thing to me. If he wanted money, he should have gotten so by either becoming a full-fledged fireman instead of a volunteer - or gotten another job. Hell, even if he had pimped for a while, he would have made some money.

What the hell is wrong with people?

And did you read about that mother who is now on trial for her life for killing her children by leaving them in a car with the windows up for more than three hours while she got her hair done?

I ask again: what the hell is wrong with people?

I just don't get it. I will again make the case that everyone in the world should be forced to take a test. Those who are competent will be rewarded with cattle prods for those who fail miserably. After a year, those who fail will be eligible to take the test again. Three strikes and you will never EVER get a cattle prod. I think it would work. Don't you?

What the hell is wrong with people?