Okay.

I wanted to rant on and on about this, but I decided that I don't really need to since it has been everywhere. But you know what? I can't leave it alone because this is so crazy.

But for the Christ, can we just let Terri Schiavo alone? Can we? This whole issue didn't need to be as public as it is. It happens ALL OVER THE COUNTRY. The poor woman has become a pawn in a discussion that really comes down to one thing:

The sanctity of marraige.

Funny I say that, isn't it? You know what, I'm gonna rant. There's politics and emotions and religion involved. And it's time to take them out of the discussion. I mean, I'm not a lawyer, but apparently, people think I am. And maybe it's because I think like one, but let's look at the legal argument, shall we?

In a case where there is no living will, decisions of life and death lie with the person closest to the person in question. The order usually runs: spouse, child, and then parent.

So legally, her husband has the right to make this decision. The parents are claiming that Terri has had her due process rights and violation of religious freedoms trampled on. I understand this, but I fail to understand how this would hold up in a court of law if she cannot even be aware of possibility of her rights being trampled on.

More than twenty courts have sided with her husband. The Bush brothers have intervened twice before. Congress, er, the Republicans, passed emergency legislation a few days ago to push the issue to the Federal Courts.

The courts, to their credit, have upheld the law. The Supreme Court did something smart and didn't take the case, despite the enormous pressure for them to do so. I'm happy they stuck to Marbury v. Madison and exerted their understanding of the law. After all, it's not like the Court would have decided to pick up the case if the U.S. Court of Appeals wouldn't. It's just not done. Besides, the argument that she has been denied proper due process and religious freedom is very difficult to uphold considering the state that Terri Schiavo is in.

Now I'm going to talk politics because this is the part that fascinates me.

Did you know that if the Republicans in Congress had actually screwed up the legislation? The legislation says that the district court has to determine whether the case has merit first and then provide relief if the court decided that the case had merit. Because if Congress had ordered the feeding tube to be connected before deciding if the case had merit would render the whole legislation unconstitutional because it would be the Legislative branch exerting their power over the Judicial.

But you're not hearing that from the Republicans, are you?

No, you're hearing them lament "out of control courts" and that the "courts ignored their intent". Um. Not really. The courts did what the legislation said. First, they determined whether the case had merit. And they decided that the case did not have merit, thereby nulling the second provision of the legislation. Had the Republicans been smart, they would have figured out a way to reinsert the feeding tube while the courts worked it out. They could have done it. But they are too connected to the Churches and the religious right to see clearly enough.

You know, I actually read yesterday that Dic...er, Rick Santorum (R - Sen. Douchbag Nozzle from PA) said, "In this case, saving Terri Schiavo's life is more important than the sanctity of marraige."

I'm serious. He said that.

I'm not going to say that the Democrats are not anywhere in here. In my opinion, they have smartly avoided this issue. But part of me longs for one of them to step in and say, "We are all saddened by this situation, but we firmly believe that this issue is between the family and politics should be far removed from the situation."

But no one wants to even stick their neck out and say it because some Republican will attack them for politicizing the situation. Though the Bush Tag Team has been all over this issue, intervening and doing whatever they can to get the issue in the open.

And for the gajillionth time in a month, I have wondered why the Republicans are getting away with all of this. Because they would prefer skewing the argument to whatever benefits them best. Talk about flip-flopping. It's not okay for two men or two women to marry for the sanctity of marraige, but when a husband has the legal right to decide that the time has come for his ailing and barely cognizant wife, the sanctity of marraige is no longer valid. It's okay for us to save someone in a state like Terri Schiavo, but not okay for us to continue funding programs that provide relief for millions of low-income Americans, children, and families (I'm talking Medicaid amongst other things). I could go on forever here, but I'll stop there.

Who do they think they are kidding? You cannot have it both ways. You cannot even define when life begins and life ends. I mean, they want to preserve life and describe life beginning the minute you meet someone and may or may not decide to copulate with them. They say that if a machine can sustain your life, you should stay on it forever. Yet, they'll do everything they can to screw with you between those times - from the moment you're born to sustained living in a nursing home or hospice.

You know, I'm not going to lie. I'm not going to say that I think Terri Schiavo should live or die. Because that's not my decision to make. I feel incredible sadness at her situation. Not many people are aware, but my cousin in the Philippines suffered from a anuerism of the brain when he was just thirteen and he is still alive. The difference between my cousin and Terri Schiavo is the simple fact that he doesn't need a machine to determine his life and death. He may not be able to feed himself, but he doesn't have to rely on technology to keep him alive. He cannot really speak, either. But he communicates. He listens. He watches you. He plays with you. And while Terri can do that - according the the news - once again, he is not hooked up to a machine. I don't pray very often, but I pray for him. And he has shown improvement over the years. So I have a very good understanding of what her family and friends are going through. But god help me if I ever had to face anything like that with my spouse.

At some point, one has to say enough is enough. One has to know when it's time to go. I was reading earlier that her husband wants to have her cremated and buried near Philly in their hometown. Her family will probably fight that because they are going to argue that as a Roman Catholic, Terri wouldn't have wanted to be cremated.

I want them to cremate her and spread her ashes over the sea so that she can finally be free and no longer belong to anyone anymore.

No matter what, I hope that she may find peace. And that we will stop making politics out of it and point fingers. Because in the end, this is about Terri Schiavo. And she is being forgotten in the midst of all of this. And that is the saddest part of all.

Boy, we were loopy.

This is the quote of the week:

"I saw they had computers with that new biometric stuff, you know, where you have fingerprint identification? Well, I was thinking, what happens if something awful happens and you lose a finger? You wouldn't be able to sign into your computer - on top of not having a finger. That would be a really shitty day!"
-Lindsay "Drama Mama" Krieg

The quote of last week:

"I find it so funny that you are my reflection."
-Phil, who happens to be very tall and white to me, who happens to be very short and brown

And the quote of the week before:

"I say that you go kick some midget ass!"
-Liz "NBS" DelloRusso after I told her that I was legally allowed to participate in the Midget Olympics because the cut-off is 5', which I happen to be. Exactly. Hmm.

Only in New York.

So yesterday, I was in the city for Selection Day for the Coros when I was driving a carload of us back to Manhattan before heading back home.

When we stopped at Gramercy Park where Sarah (the Heezy) lived to wait for her boyfriend, I was watching the door of her apartment building.

Suddenly, some older gentleman wearing sweatpants and a light jacket comes out the front door, looks up and down the street, and then proceeds to unscrew the lightbulb from one of those "porch light" things used to light the doorway for the building inhabitants.

He didn't touch the other light, but just as quickly as he came out of the building, he went back in.

Incredulously, I turned to Heezy and asked, "Did you see that?"

She saw the last three seconds of it.

We must have laughed for at least three minutes before the guy was suddenly at the door again, but this time to close the door and look suspiciously out the glass door.

Um, yes. Someone saw you snag that lightbulb. If a lightbulb in your apartment goes out, you could have walked the twenty extra yards to the deli down the street where they sell them for that very reason!

The Heez and I got at least another five minutes of giggling amusement.

Sigh. Only in New York.

I miss it so much.

March means St. Patrick's Day. And that's fun. Not because I am Irish, which I am surely not - I don't want to confuse anyone who might be out there.

But it means that McDonalds has the Shamrock Shake. I had one for the first time in years today.

Yum.

That is all.

Being sick blows.

I somehow managed to get pretty sick this weekend. I mean, I had been feeling like I was getting sick and I knew it, but I didn't think it would hit me all at once.

I was in DC for training - and that was exhausting enough.

But on Friday at around 4, right when I finally got off the phone making work calls now that I've been hit with the work bat, I suddenly felt like a big piece of crap.

And I'm posting because something happened to me Friday night that has never happened to me before when I am sick.

So I did what only someone who thinks they have a head cold/flu/throat ache/ear infection does.

I slept.

A lot.

Drank lots of fluids, pumped myself with tylenol, grabbed the echinachea drops, hopped on the couch with a comforter, and passed out.

When I woke up, I was really sick. Fever. Chills. Sore throat. Starting to get the congestion.

So I then decided to take a shower. Get the germs off of me. It seemed to work.

When I was done, I headed back downstairs on the couch, presumably to sleep some more.

And then, for no apparent reason, I started crying.

Wha???

I was so freakin' sick that I started crying. Maybe it was out of frustration. But my head was so hot, my body was racked with chills, I started CRYING.

I think it was my head trying to release the heat from my body. It had to be. Because I wasn't emotional. But I was sitting there, tears streaming down my face, laughing at myself, and wondering what the hell was happening to me.

Anyone else have that happen before? Jesu-flips.

Been a while. Well, since I used to blog almost daily, it seems it.

I'm sure that the few folks I know that read this are probably annoyed. So, it seems time for me to post something new.

I will not regale you with the fantastically boring inner workings of my mind this week. Indeed, besides research and wringing my hands together over the status of my life so far, I think others would find it boring. And we're talking ho-hum boring.

So today, I wish to pass along a few thoughts that have been plaguing me whenever I turn on the news this week.

1. BTK. Freakin' creepy. Serial killers tend to have that affect. It's always the quiet ones. Church-going, family-man, seems to live by the rules guy. But crazy as a shit house rat. Every time I get a feeling of security, they find someone like this. The Christ.

2. Weather. Again, the snow issue is huge here. As a girl who loves snow, I would like to officially announce an amendment to my love of snow - I love snow in places where they know what to do with it. Out here, they have no idea. So I do not heart snow here.

3. The Oscars. It's about time they started to represent the diversity of the country. Chris Rock might be one of the few comedians who can get away with some of the things he says because we expect him to do it. Kudos to the Academy for putting him right up front. Jamie Foxx absolutely deserved the golden guy because he is mindblowingly fantastic as Ray Charles. Morgan Freeman finally got the award he deserved, and I can't believe that Annette Benning and Martin Scorsese got screwed again. Now that I know what an ass Leonardo is, er, Leonard as Adam likes to call him - I can't stand watching him. Cate Blanchett is awesome and I'm just pissed that "Finding Neverland" got nothing. They and "Sideways" (so I'm told - I still need to see it) got robbed. ROBBED.

4. I still don't get republicans. At all.

5. Social security is NOT in a crisis. Yet. But for chrissake, will some news source please do an independant report on social security so that people aren't swayed by words like, "Individual/Personal Accounts"? I'd like to think that you can only dupe the country once, but it looks like Bush is banking his place in history on it. All I think about when I see him on the news is that whole bit of banter between Michael Douglas and Michael J. Fox in "The American President" -"Lewis, we've had Presidents who were beloved, who couldn't find a coherent sentence with two hands and a flashlight. People don't drink the sand because they're thirsty, Lewis. They drink it because they don't know the difference." Is that what we've become? I fear it every day.

6. I actually feel for Paris Hilton over this hacked cellphone thing. Because honestly, can anyone really be mad at her for having all of that information in her cellphone? Honestly? Take out your cellphone, folks. Check that address book 'o yours. Do you have it written somewhere else? Do you have the numbers committed to memory? Yeah. Thought so. I mean, I purposely got a palm pilot that wasn't a cellphone because if i lost it, I would be screwed. I figure that if something happens where I lose one, I still have the other. So should celebrities be surprised that she had all of that information on her sidekick? I think not. The lesson here is that he/she who lives in glass houses shouldn't give their personal email or number to Paris Hilton. Or something like that. Ridiculous.

7. I DON'T CARE ABOUT JEN AND BRAD. Much. Leave them alone, for crying out loud. It's hard enough to deal with a divorce.

AND FINALLY...

8. Jacko. You know, I think the real tragedy of the Michael Jackson case is that no member of the current generation will remember him for his music. They'll never know how cool it was growing up, imitating the moonwalk, wearing the red leather jacket with the glove, hiding every time "Thriller" came on MTV - when MTV used to play videos, and hope and pray that they would show "Smooth Criminal" again. Remember when "Black or White" came out and everyone was talking about the end of the video when the people morphed into each other? I mean, he had some real musical genius there. "Don't Stop 'Till You Get Enough", "Man in the Mirror", "I Just Can't Stop Loving You" - these were songs our generation grew up with. Until the weirder Jacko emerged and he decided to continue with his plastic surgery, become whiter by the years, marry Lisa Marie, insist that the white-skinned children with blonde hair were his, call his child "Blanket", dangle a baby from a balcony, and turn into the freak he probably was afraid of. Someday they will make a film about Michael Jackson around the lines of "The Aviator" and we will revel in this man's downfall. But in the meantime, I plan on just taking out HIStory and listening.

Yeah. Does anyone else feel like they're in the twilight zone? I sure as hell do. Though I can't really tell if that's because of the news or Delaware. But whatever.

Okay.

I come from the land of snow. Anyone who is from Upstate New York will concur: four inches of snow is practically light rain. Anyone from FMHS will probably nod and tell you that a WALL of snow, ice, and hail would probably still mean that we had to go to school - and no hope of a snow day except to pray for an hour or two delay.

Now I understand that parts of this country just aren't equipped to handle snow. And I'm sure folks who actually voted for George W. Bush will say that snow in Alabama is a freak coincidence and that global warming just doesn't exist.

But for people in the northeast in the mid-Atlantic region, we should at least have some sort of game plan, right?

RIGHT?!!

All of us well versed in what winter actually means would laugh when they would put sand on the snow at my college. Try salt. It works better. But we understood that in places that are older and sporting the ever-popular federalist architecture of brick, brick, and more brick, that sand was essential to upkeep on the bricks.

But explain to me how sand would be more effective on pavement than on brick.

The whole state is covered in sand. Then again, Delaware uses cement primarily for roads, but that's a whole other can of worms.

What's even more laughable is how they move the snow around. When that foot or so fell on Delaware, it looked like they strapped shovels to trucks going 15 down my street. Even in New York City, they got the trash trucks to get the industrial shovels and clear that shit. You'd think that in a place where there are more trucks than people that they might have figured that out.

I was one of two people in the office today, presumably because of the snow. I could have left early. I didn't. I actually got a good amount done today. It wasn't so annoying. Until I left the office to go to the mall to return my guitar cable for my ibook, peruse the new mac minis, and take a moment to wish that I had more money to buy the kind of equipment that I need to write the music for the CBC's upcoming show.

That's another story.

Needless to say, I've come home slightly pissed. But let me tell you why.

1. Most people used to snow will tell you - when you scrape the snow off of your car, it isn't just about the windows. Hit the lights, hit the tires, and for godssake, hit the roof of your car! I can't tell you how annoying it is to dodge chunks of wet snow from the car in front of me or not to be able to tell that the car in front is going to make a right hand or left hand turn.

2. If you are in a smaller car and you have problems with sliding, throw the car in a lower gear. The tire rotation slows down and you can get a better grip on the road. Sure, it takes up a little more gas, but you'll get wherever you're going in one piece. I promise.

3. If you are afraid of snow, don't stay in the left lane and go 25. It's freakin' annoying as shit.

4. If you aren't afraid of snow and the guy in front of me is going 25, don't tailgate me half an inch away from my car and flash the high beams. You can tell that there's a car in front of me because I've moved slightly to the right so that you can see them. And you know I can't get into the right hand lane to let you through because there's people going 20 there.

5. Shoveling your walkway is fine. Putting the excess snow into my freshly shoveled driveway isn't. Screw you.

As you can tell, I'm slightly peeved. I understand people's concerns, but c'mon. If you can't handle the snow, don't go out.

Finding myself back from the sunny land of Philadelphia this morning, I wish to talk about...

Public Restrooms.

This isn't because I came from Philly today after spending an evening assisting the Cardboard Box Collaborative in their newest show, Now Serving - which anyone in the Philly area really must go and see. It's actually held over from my weekend in NYC this past weekend.

Well, what I really wish to talk about is something more specific about public restrooms.

For starters, if you are lucky enough to go to a nice, decent restroom, chances are that you will encounter those toilet seat covers.

As the daughter of an infection control nurse, I can tell you scientifically and without a doubt that these are a very important and good invention.

Now I've found that if you are loitering around reststops on the highway or turnpike, these come very much in handy. At the same time, however, the thing holding them to the wall is cheap as hell. So you go ahead and pull on one to use it and the thing rips halfway in your hand. A little annoying, you go ahead and pull on another one...which rips in your hand. After about four tries, you're pretty damn near frustrated, and depending on your situation, perhaps edgy as hell because you need to use the toilet. Finally, you slowly pull out one and the other halves that have ripped off in your hand stream out at you like candy out of a pinata.

This isn't the only frustrating thing.

Then you go to put it on the seat. You carefully rip the center out of the rest of the cover, like you do - and so that you don't have the uncomfortable situation where you pee on yourself - and place it gently on the seat. By the time you undo your pants and go to sit down, the weight of the center dropping to the toilet water has pulled the back of the seat cover into the toilet and is slowly beginning to drag the rest of the cover into the toilet with it.

So you grab another one - which proceeds to rip in your hand. So you go through the whole process again...

...and again.

By the time you finally get it to stay on the toilet, you've got seven toilet covers on the seat, twelve ripped up in the toilet so that you can't see the water in the bowl anymore, and you've lost the urge to use the toilet.

Is anyone else slightly frustrated or at least mildly amused by this situation? I find it annoying as hell, but really funny now that I think about it. I mean, if you're afraid of germs (thanks, mom) like I am, toilet covers serve a very important function. If they could figure out a way to design it so that you only have to use one...

I think that I have figured out a possible way for Mike Bloomberg to win re-election in 2005. And we should be cheering this issue on.

Bear with me here.

Let's look at some facts about NYC, shall we?

1. NYC is overwhelmingly Democrat. 5-1 Democrat to Republican ratio in the state. That's ridiculous. Well, not for me, 'cause I'm a Democrat. But still, that's pretty decent odds, right? Don't ask me why we have a Republican Governor, I'll explain why we have a Republican Mayor shortly.

2. These Democrats aren't typically moderate. No, we're the in-your-face liberals. C'mon. You don't live on an 24 square mile island or adjoining boroughs with more than 8 million people from all over the world, 7 million rats, and 10 million pigeons without being slightly liberal.

3. Mike Bloomberg isn't really a Republican. For those not joining in from the Apple, Hizzoner (the mayor) switched parties to avoid running in the crowded Democratic field in 2001. He was one of the major donors to Gore/Lieberman in 2000 and many Republicans and conservatives speak of him with a bit of snide.

4. For those of you living under a rock, Bloomie is a BILLIONAIRE. The man spent $78 million on his mayoral campaign - out of his own pocket. For a liberal responsible donkey like me, I appreciated the fact that he didn't run with anyone in his pocket. In fact, that was one of his campaign "things" - he wasn't a normal politician, he didn't have special interests, only the city mattered to him. For a city facing some serious problems in 2001, including a spiraling budget gap, the businessman was a good choice - especially if you weren't particularly fond of Mark Green (the Democratic Mayoral candidate in 2001).

These are just the facts I wish to highlight in this argument.

Many of you may not be aware that New York City is on the verge of being the next "battleground", if you will, in the fight for gay marriage. Click on that link. Check it out. Basically, a Manhattan judge ruled that it was unconstitutional for the state to forbid gays from marrying - that the state constitution did not specify marriage, therefore, no one could bar anyone from marrying anyone.

Side note: does that mean I could marry my pinkie? I'm just curious.

Back at the ranch...

Now Mr. Mayor, as he has been apt to do - much to the chagrin of his campaign staff (trust me, I was there), has made a contradiction of himself. He told reporters that he personally believed that gays should be given the same freedoms as heterosexuals and that government should not create laws to forbid people to marry, no matter who was marrying whom. Yet, he also said later that he would appeal the judges' decision to the Court of Appeals, the highest court in the State.

Um. I don't get it.

Well, I sort of do. His argument, which starts to make a little bit of sense, is that he wants to force the state to make a decision "so that people will have a right once and for all to know where they stand." He does not want the situation they had in San Fransisco where the mayor married all of those gay couples only to have it overturned months later.

Sure, he's worried about his re-election. And he's probably feeling some heat from his Republican friends.

But I wish to call attention to those facts I listed above.

1. New Yorkers may be mostly democrats, but if given the right reasons to re-elect a Republican, they will do it. Case in point: Giulani. If he wants to win re-election, he has a better chance of siding with the 5-1 Democrats.

2. The chances of his favorable rating going up if he stands up for civil rights will most likely go upwards fast. Remember the liberal factor here.

3. He's not really a Republican. Sure, he's raised a lot of money for them, but he has always said that it isn't about party or politics, it's about doing what's morally right. Dante said it best: "The hottest places in hell are reserved for those, who in times of great moral crisis, retain their neutrality." If it wasn't for people standing up for morals, we would still have slavery, segregation, male-only voting, and awful events like the Holocaust. I'm not taking this too far - when some people have rights and other don't share the same rights, then there will always be oppression.

4. Because he will self-finance his campaign again, what difference does it make if he pisses some people off? Sure, there will be plenty of Catholics and religious folks calling for his head, but those ladies in the Upper East Side will, at best, stay home on election day, leaving the same situation as 2001 where he was elected because Mark Green lost. That's probably important to remember. He won because Mark Green and the Dems made a mistake that upset a lot of party members (present company included) that they stayed at home on November 2nd. This could work in his favor if he has a strong challenger, which is likely. But the democratic challengers are also supporting gay marriage.

Does this make sense? Isn't it kind of obvious? I think so.

If he wants to avoid the political mess that will begin to ensue over his contradiction of word and deed, the other, less controversial method might also work to gain favor - and yes, I'm talking about Civil Unions.

Sure, it's not marriage, but at least it's better. With civil unions, gay couples can at least be acknowledged. NYC would never have that horrible consequence where gay 9/11 survivors who could not collect the benefits of their lost loved ones because they were gay. While a lot of people might be against gay marriage, they aren't against gays having rights - I'm talking about New York here, people. I'm fully aware of those folks who don't want gays to have any rights at all.

I mean, come on. Go with your conscience, Mayor. Go with your morals. Go with your instinct. People may never believe what you say, but they'll always believe what you do. You can't be for people having rights and then fight against them having those rights. Shit or get off the pot.

And not only will you be making a huge statement for civil rights, mark a place for yourself in the history books, you just might keep your job.

"Never doubt that a small, group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has." -Margaret Mead

It's official. I'm staying in Delaware.

I'll be working on the Social Security issue here in the good 'ol First State. I went to the Council Office today to get acquainted. It's interesting. And less than 5 minutes away from my house.

Looks like I'll be a Delaware-ian until around June when I'll be shipped off to the Garden State to work on the governor's race.

I finally feel like I have a sense of purpose. I start on Monday. Jeez, I am just that bored.

In the meantime, I'll be busy getting the house ready. Digital cable, high-speed internet, and regular trash pick up - here I come! I'm excited.

At the same time, I'm bummed. Not only will Megan be in Oklahoma City, I don't get an OK adventure. But it's okay. At least I know what I'll be doing. It'll be a new challenge, so I'll enjoy it.

But I gotta run and figure out all the details - and unpack my clothes - and continue cleaning so I can finally stop working on the house.

In other news, did anyone see that Prince Charles will be marrying Camilla Parker-Bowles in April? Any thoughts? I'm not sure what I think yet.

Coming soon - a blog that I've been meaning to post on how Mike Bloomberg could win re-election in NYC. And it comes down to the rainbow pages. Go figure. That'll come soon, I promise.

WHAT DO I HAVE TO DO TO GET AN ANSWER?!!?!?!?!?!

So I might be staying here in the armpit of the East Coast, or I might be heading for the land north of Texas. Still don't know. And I better find out soon.

BECAUSE I'LL GO LOCO. I will.

Mulling.

Karma exists, people. This is karma for making light of Jessica, both recently and in Seattle. Gotta be.

And in the meantime, I don't know why my comments aren't working. I hope they fix it soon so I can see what Jill hast written.

Back to unpacking now that I have a decision to make quickly. Er, SOON-er, if you will.

Hahahahaha. I'm so funny.

I'm intentially being vague. But because I'm sorting it out. But if you look above under the blog title, you'll get the drift...

Lordy, I was on quite an unwieldy rant last evening. That's okay. I still feel very strongly about the issue. But that's not the point of today's post.

Unemployment is very becoming for my blogger. As you can tell.

So here's a funny story I wanted to share. Because it's just that good.

Lemme preface this. Many of you are aware of my friends, but this story involves me, Fabs, and our other friend, Vicki.

There's an awesome story from the Fabs and Vicki NYU years that involves Vicki getting ridiculously wasted on the last day of class with some of her film classmates. Fabs was basically called in to assist in the drunkenness that was Vicks. After trying to feed her Ramen and ultimately eating it herself, Fabs was having a conversation with the other folks in the room as Vicki, wrapped to her neck in a blanket, was starting to fall over - again - and Fabs caught Vicki trying to keep herself upright by biting, since it was the only thing not under a blanket, and more likely - that she could control.

Maybe you have to hear that story in person. Either way, brilliant.

So Fabs and I go to see "National Treasure", which is so good, I've seen it thrice. Yes. Thrice. I don't care what you think. I am a big American history geek, so I've seen it with friends who want to see it and since I can hardly say no to a movie I like, I've seen it thrice.

Anyhoo, the guy playing Riley in the movie is the guy who got Vicki wasted on that last day of classes.

Fabs turns to me and says excitedly (we were the only two in the theatre at that moment in time), "That's the dude that got Vicki wasted! He was the retarded kid in "Gigli" and everytime I see him, I say to myself, 'That's the dude that got Vicki wasted!'"

We laughed. Watched the movie. Had a great time.

It wasn't until we were driving to D.C. the next day that I made a realization.

I turned to Fabs somewhere on 95 between Baltimore and DC and interrupted her incredulously.

"Wait! You've actually seen 'Gigli'?!!?"

After she peed her pants, I asked her if it was as bad as they said. She said a quick, "Yeah" and continued with the rest of the story she was telling before I so rudely interrupted her.

I would actually see "Eight Legged Freaks" or "Children of the Corn III: Urban Harvest" before I saw "Gigli".

But the dood who got our friend drunk is in it.

And that is my story. No, you will not receive your ten cents back.

Ladies and Gentleman, Boys and Girls, step right up for your favorite time of the week and mine:

SOAPBOX TIME!

Okay. I can't help it. I saw it on CNN today when I was doing my daily news digest and I have to say something about it.

"Medicare to cover Viagra".

It's just too good for me to pass up. I mean, according to the President and the Republicans in office, health care is fine, but we just have to shift the burden away from the employers and back onto the employees and give citizens a "real choice" about how to handle their health care....

...by making them pay for everything. But that is another issue for another time.

Okay.

I should mention that the sub heading of the article read: "In medically needed cases."

Yeah. Could they maybe define that a little more? I mean, how do you decide who is a medical need and who isn't? Arent' these just men with Erectile Dysfunction as caused by old age? So is it really weeding it out to say "in medically needed cases"?

I'm just warming up.

In all honesty, is it really necessary for an older gentleman to have an erection? I mean, compared to things such as, I don't know, a cure for cancer? Stem cell research? Remedy for AIDS? Yes, that seems right. Let's just put those things aside so that men can have sex after they lose the ability to "hold an erection on the high holy days" (Kudos to J. Larson).

Bob Dole himself was on TV a few years back telling us how important a thing it was for them to have discovered and produced Viagra.

I just threw up a little bit thinking about that commercial. I really didn't want to know anything at all about Bob Dole's sex life. Eww. I'm thinking about it again. Shit. I did it again.

Okay. Here's why I'm pissed: I'm not a man. I don't have a penis.

And because of it, I can't get birth control on Medicaid. None of us women can. Because in today's world, insurance and Medicaid only covers the ability of men to have an erection no matter what age they are. But for us ladies, who are given the ability to give life, who already make less money than a man in the workplace, who are forced to make a decision between career and child-raising - cannot get birth control covered.

And why? Freedom of Religion. Not a bad thing, at all. Yet, because of religious fundamentalists (yes, I'm using that term when talking about Evangelicals, Christians, and Catholics - of which I was raised**), women cannot get birth control covered by insurance because basically, churches have effectively lobbied against it from happening. I have been told that legislators are too afraid to push it for fear that they'll get bitchslapped by a church. Or because they believe they are a part of the holy trinity, I don't know.

Look, I was raised Catholic. I was baptized. I am well aware of the bible and other religions. But if churches are going to play this game, if they are going to hand out anti-choice, anti-gay literature, if priests and reverends are going to continue (or begin) endorsing candidates from the pulpit because of their view on choice and/or marriage, if churches are going to raise money for anti-choice legislation and Constitutional amendments, then the churches, no matter what their denomonation, must be forced to register as lobbyists and pay taxes. I'm sorry. Well, no I'm not. Anyone or entity that choses to play politics, must abide by the rules. If women cannot have their birth control covered by insurance because of religious issues, then isn't it only fair that everyone be forced to play by the rules?

Of course, only the Democratic Women's Caucus is even discussing this up there. No one else wants to touch this. I don't even know if anyone is talking about it anymore at all, except Hillary Clinton. Whom I know is a favorite of the GOP.

Ladies, if you aren't pissed by now, here's a few other things that'll be sure to get a bee in your bonnet:

There was word around Capitol Hill with all of this Social Security talk (which is really another soapbox for another day) that Republicans and the Bush Administration have toyed with an idea for adjusted benefits based on gender - since women tend to outlive men. Translation: Women will have less Social Security benefits because they are alive for a longer period of time? I swear to god, this was just floated a few weeks ago.

And then there's the Supreme Court issue. We should all be worried. If President God-talks-only-to-me gets to put up to four Justices on the bench, we're screwed to holy hell. It's bad enough we are teetering on Roe v. Wade, we're still dealing with Bush's Global Gag Rule* (see below), the Partial Birth Abortion Legislation that has no provisions for the health of women, and now Ralph Reed practically has his own office in the West Wing.

I thought we had come so far. The conservative right becomes the mainstream and now it's not just gays and Middle Easterners hiding from the the angry mob. All of us. Women, minorities, immigrants. It's feels like open season. What's the quote? "The price of freedom is eternal vigilance." Of course, President Cowboy is too busy jamming freedom down other throats. Too bad he isn't spreading it on the homefront. I also blame John "I lost my last election to a dead guy" Ashcroft.

Every part of me wishes badly that the Democrats get their shit together soon. Part of me very badly wishes the Republicans were of the Teddy Roosevelt kind so that I can feel somewhat safe. But no, instead we've got bible-thumping, homophobic, misogynistic, good 'ol boys in the majority again. Way too "pale and male" up there.

Hmmm. I wonder why Medicaid, a federal program in the hands of those older white men in Washington, would cover Viagra...

Clearly a rhetorical question.

And quite clearly, I'm agitated by it. I've had all day to stew and think about it. Argh.

*From the Center for Reproductive Rights: "The global gag rule undermines the right to freedom of speech—a universal human right, highly valued and protected in the United States. This policy violates freedom of expression by preventing overseas reproductive health and advocacy organizations from speaking out and lobbying their own governments on their own countries’ abortion laws or policies. The global gag rule censors health-care professionals in overseas family planning clinics, depriving them of the ability to provide full and accurate information to their patients. It prohibits foreign NGOs involved in advocacy and/or health service provision from communicating with their governments in order to decriminalize or improve the safety of and access to abortion, and prohibits public education campaigns about abortion. The global gag rule is the epitome of viewpoint-based discrimination, because it does not constrain organizations working to oppose legal, safe and accessible abortion. The global gag rule also undermines the free speech rights of human rights advocates."

**These comments are not meant in anger. They are meant as a point for discussion and reference. And they are meant in frustration of what is happening to society. Anyone wishing to send concerns and hate-mail to the author are urged to do so at: Kiss my Naturally Brown Ass Productions, Washington Square Arch, TOTCHLAND, New York 10012.

In the interest of being pithy, I have a simple thought this evening:

Unpacking all of my stuff just to pack it all again within an hour or two makes me feel stupid. And crazy at the same time.

'Nuff said.

I feel like I'm slowly going insane.

I have yet to know when or where I'll be assigned, and this fact is slowly driving me insane.

Don't get me crazy. I love vacation time. And it's really not that bad, at least I know I have a job.

But the uncertainty of knowing is driving me insane. And only because I have become totally complacent by not knowing when or where I will be going.

Translation: I have a lot of shit to do and I have no idea how long I've got to do it.

I'm still unpacking and cleaning. Plus, I'm packing bags for the eventual "You're going here on this day" call. This house has so much crap in it and now I find out that the Salvation Army doesn't pick up, so I have to drop off all of the shit at their warehouse, which will most likely take me an entire afternoon if not a majority of my day. Not neat.

And really, it's just that I can't make plans. I don't know if I can go back to Syracuse to visit my home. Don't know if I can go to Philly to visit friends. Don't know if I can go to NYC to feel saddened by my departure. I did steal away to DC with Fabs, and while it was awesome seeing Michael and Foyelicious, I felt like the back of my mind was nagging the front of it to remind me how much work I have to do.

So after I drop Fabs off at the train tonight, I have decided to put my ass in major hauling mode. I want to finish off the boxes and cleaing by Wednesday. Then, I can realy relax until I leave.

I just want my mind back. Or something that makes me feel like I'm being, I dunno, a more productive part of society.

All of this to really just say that unemployment sucks.

I've been listening to a lot of classical music lately.

For a month, So Young and I turned on the radio when we were remodeling the house. P.S. when I say remodeling, I mean taking down old tacky wallpaper and painting the drywall as well as some much-needed weeding, cleaning, and tidying up.

Anyhoo.

In the month I turned on the radio, while I enjoy the small satisfaction some of the music brings in my being able to sing along to a jangle or two, I remembered why I turned it off for so long in the first place. For starters, I think I heard the same Top 40 songs over and over again at least 5 times in a three hour period. And Jesus, after a while, it all starts to sound the same.

What happened to music?

It's crap now. There are a few musicians who play on the radio (constantly) that do stand out, but seriously, I wonder where it's all going.

Heather made me think of this. She listed her favorite cds on her blog recently (check out the link on the right) and she has some fabulous taste in music. And so I started thinking what I tend to turn to a lot lately.

Sure, I go through phases. There's the Ani DiFranco phase where I just have her on a loop for about a month or so. Dar is intermixed in there with the Indigo Girls. Perhaps those are my "chick" moments, though I hate categorizing it like that.

Of course, there's the Dave phase where I have to listen to every DMB cd I own at least once or thrice - maybe six times a year.

There's the oldies stretch where I listen to Elvis and the Beatles and Simon and Garfunkel like my life depended on it.

There's the hippie stretch where I put on Phish and the Dead and even twirl around to some Doors, though I wouldn't normally put them there.

There's the ocassional Shake Yo Ass phase where I want dance music and rap. Those are few and far between - though I find I need them on long car drives to break it up.

And there's the Garth and Dixie Chicks "gettin back to my college days" on those moments I feel sentimental or need a good holler.

But when I need to ponder, when I need something to refresh my palatte, musically, if you will, I turn to the great wisemen of all time: Beethoven, Mozart, Vivaldi, and Brahms.

I can't explain it. Well, I know that my the first thing I ever loved in this world that wasn't my family was music. It's hard for me to place my first memory but the first one that stands out is being introduced to my violin at the tender age of 3. The world of music was, and still is, a haven to me. So I suppose it makes sense that I go back to it peridically.

I miss playing in a band. I miss playing in an orchestra even more. I was so excited when I started playing with the Lawyer's Orchestra. It was as if I had found my very first friend all over again. Discovered it, actually.

So my respite from the crap coming out of the radio has been to dust off the old tapes and cds and give 'em a spin. I find it so good for my soul.

I've had to explain to many before that it is very difficult for me to work while I listen to classical music. Unlike others who prefer to have it on while they work, if I have played it, I get caught up in it. I find myself pausing to listen more than I would if something else were on. I have this incessant need to break it all apart, hear each note and instrument individually and then listen to it as a whole. And since I need time to do that, since my life seems to be incessant with motion, it's a good thing that I am listening to my old friends again. Because it means that I have slowed down, albeit temporarily. I can wax brilliant about the music, but I think I'll just let it speak for myself.

Music, I have found, is a wonderful gift to give and share. Many who know me and my musical history ask me what is good classical music to listen to - especially if they are just turning their ears to it for the first time.

So for those of you out there that are curious about classical but never got into it and even for those of you who are seasoned enough to know who Paganini and Albinoni are, here is a list for you to peruse. That is, if anyone besides four people I know read this.

Here goes. I've made this an abbreviated list, we could go on for days here otherwise. So it's a starting list, starting with the greatest.

Keeza's Top Ten Classical Picks for the Discerning Ear (and some composers have two , deal with it):

1. BEETHOVEN - SEVENTH SYMPHONY, SECOND MOVEMENT. He is my favorite and I wouldn't be offsides if I told you I thought he was God. Sure, everyone knows the famous notes of the 5th Symphony and the 9th. But how many actually have taken the time to listen to this particular movement of his symphonies? I swear to you, this is a masterpiece. Absolutely haunting and beautiful. Actually, ANYTHING by Beethoven is alright and genius to me - but if I had to pick a favorite, this is it. PIANO CONCERTO #1 is brilliant, too.

2. BACH - CELLO SUITE #1 IN G MAJOR & AIR ON A G STRING. You've heard them before. I'm actually not a big Bach fan since I find him repetitive and boring, though I appreciate what he did for music. But these two are genius. Brilliant.

3. BORODIN - POLOVITSIAN DANCES. You - or your parents - might recall "Stranger in Paradise". The theme is from here.

4. RIMSKY KORSAKOV - CAPRICCIO ESPAGNOL. Fierce.

5. DVORAK - NEW WORLD SYMPHONY & "THE AMERICAN" QUARTET. Dvorak came from Czechoslovakia to the United States in the 1800's and is the first of the European greats to bring "American" music to the old world. But this is fantastic music, nonetheless.

6. BERNSTEIN - OVERTURE TO CANDIDE. Bernstein was the man. This is awesome.

7. HOLST - ST. PAUL'S SUITE. Chamber music at it's finest.

8. COPLAND - RODEO. Beef, it's what's for dinner. Or fabulous music.

9. STRAVINSKY - THE FIREBIRD SUITE. Bercuse and Finale. That's all I have to say. It will blow you away.

10. TCHAIKOVSKY - ROMEO AND JULIET. Tchaikovsky was a mad genius and we are all the better for it. You will recognize the "love"theme. This is brilliance at it's best.

Perhaps soon I will scribe my favorite violin solos of all time, but for now, let's deal with this. I realize that Vivialdi was left out, but I'll get him next round.

When I need comfort music, I reach for this. Explore this world if you can. It's the music that has lasted generations. It is the base of music today. You might not be fully aware of how, but this was the heartbeat of music. I hope you will at least listen to one thing on this list. Trust me, you'll enjoy it. Hell, go for all 10. I've got copies of 'em all, if you wanna hear. You'll be happy you did.

AND, you'd get some serious culture. Who can go wrong with that?

Jesus, what a weekend. The Christ, what a week.

All in all, it wasn't that bad. But as I sit here, pontificating, I'm starting to wonder if it could get any worse.

No idea yet about the job. NOT neat.

No idea yet about where I'll be assigned to until November. ANNOYINGLY Not neat.

Dumbass was reelected, meaning that he was inaugurated - for the second time - last week. FREAKISHLY not neat.

Dumbass says that the only way to ensure American freedom is to ensure freedumb around the globe. With whom, I ask? Aren't we already tapped? And which countries sovreignty are we going to trample on now? Ah, the return of conservative theory in international politics. ABSOLUTELY not neat.

Mother nature douched us with an amazing amount of snow and wind. Would be neat if I was anywhere where they knew how to take care of snow, but since I was in Delaware, it sucked chunks. Would have loved very much to go skiing this weekend. BUTT ASS COLD not neat.

Johnny Carson died. TOTALLY not neat.

The Washington Post just found out that there was a clandestine organization started after 9/11 at the Pentagon under Donald Rumsfeld's order. Congerss just found out about it. Too much power in the hands of one man sounds suspiciously like Washington College all over again. Oh wait, that was run by Republicans that had no prior experience in that given field, too. And who is paying the bills for an organization with that much power? Yeah. SO VERY not neat.

It's very dry here. ASHY SKIN not neat.

I'm still cleaning and fixing up the house. Alone. SCARY BIG HOUSE not neat.

I think I'm going crazy. Perhaps this is the neatest thing of all.

But seriously. It wasn't a bad week. Honest. Just a bunch of things that I can't control. Nothing new.

Dammit! I just wrote out an entire blog that was long and I lost it.

:LKDSJFaoisdfperuij;lakdsfjnas;dlifjaerio;ja;lkdvjmasd;iofuqwewo;rijnads;lfkjadopuiweorp;kljasdf;lkjasdf;lkjasdsfmother.....

Erg. I'll return and retype when I'm not so p-i-s-e-d.

That's right. Pised.

Name the movie.

My God, it's cold.

So yes, I'm still in the 'Cuse, still working out the unemployment crap, still not working, and still don't know where I'll be assigned ... as of yet.

I was thinking about going to DC on Thursday to protest the inauguration of the idiot savant, but I'm freezing my patootie off here, I'm not sure that I want to stand in freezing cold with the possibility of snipers and DC police going Waco on my dissenting ass. I've been to the inauguration ('96) and I was cold as hell. And the security is ridiculous. So I'm thinking the next protest I will do. In the meantime, I'll sit in front of the 46" flat screen, try to see the friends I have left in 'Cuse, try to get tickets to the SU/Georgetown game tomorrow night, and rest up.

In the meantime, I'm kind of bored. Blah blah blah blah blah.

Time to watch another of the 5 rented videos from Blockbuster. Matt Damon or Brad Pitt? I love being on vacation, no matter how bored I am...

Back in the 'Cuse. Gotta take care of unemployment crap.

But this post is about something else. Been a while since I got out the soap box, but you didn't really think that I would have strayed from the rant for long, did you?

On Friday night, my parents and I went to fabulous Atlantic City for another one-night stay. We had a room and tickets to The Letterman that night.

Fabulous Atlantic City is better when I am winning. For the first time, I played the tables (Blackjack) and I am now hooked. This could be dangerous. Especially since I lost money this time around. I could have broken even, but it just wasn't my weekend. I'll need some time before I return. Though I can't stop thinking about it. Argh.

But I'm writing because the Letterman were actually the best show I've seen at Atlantic City. One of the original members is still traveling with the group - the two newer members are quite good, though one of them is built like Arnold and has a mullet, but that's not the point of this story.

For starters, there were an incredible amount of Filipinos who went. That's because one of their songs, "Dahil Sa'yo" (Because of You) is entirely in Tagalog. Apparently, they spent a lot of time in the Philippines when they were big.

By the way, the Letterman, for those who don't know, were the N'Sync* of the 50's and 60's. They were pretty good. "Theme from a Sumemr Place" was one of theirs, along with a string of other big hits from the oldies station.

First of all, I was with my parents, which means that we go places early. We were in our seats at least an hour and a half before the show started. Neat. My mom whispers to me, "See the Filipino family behind you? The boy? Is that some sort of new hat that is popular now?"

The kid was wearing a bike helmet.

We had a good laugh when I thought of "Garden State" and came up with a possible explanation. Also, he might have had head surgery recently, so I somewhat felt guilty at laughing at him. It's just rare to see people wearing bike helmets in public when they aren't on a bike. That's comedy.

I'm an asshole.

But then my mom goes, "Look at the guy at about 3 o'clock. Is that a Yalmulke?"

No, it was a guy who was bald. In a weird way. That was his pate my mom thought was a Yalmulke (Kippah). Nice, mom.

And has anyone yet noticed how good I am at correctly spelling Yiddish and Jewish words? Hell, I'm proud of myself.

But no, my soapbox hasn't come out yet. I am completing the comedy section of this blog.

They ended the evening with "Proud to be an American". People in the audience were swaying, standing, singing.

I wanted to cry. Because I used to be so proud to be an American. I still am. Perhaps this is why I am standing on the soapbox now.

Because no matter what patriotic song, event, or mention - I get really angry. Not at the people for expressing their beliefs and support for our country. But because they re-elected that idiot asshole of a president. All I could think of was wonder how many of them voted for Dubya. How many of them voted for Kerry. And how many of them were pissed as I was to know that the drunken frat boy is single-handedly driving the country into a ditch.

Just because I don't like the president doesn't mean that I am any less American than anyone else. And I resent being made felt that way. My grandmother a few weeks ago when I was in the middle of a rant in DC about the president told me, "He was re-elected, you should stop calling him names."

No. That's what makes me an American. I can disagree with the president. Just because he was re-elected doesn't mean that I don't believe in democracy. This is what democracy is all about. Actually, if we can use the proper term for the proper situation, we have a republic. But it doesn't mean that democracy or freedom is only the picture the president paints. It only took him a week to order flags at half-mast for the tsunami that ripped across South East Asia. It only took him a week to ignore an important security briefing that caused the worst terrorist attack on the United States. And it only took him a week to decide to invade a country that had nothing to do with that. I started thinking about all of the reserves and guardsmen and women overseas and I started getting really pissed. Because it is a far cry from what they signed up for.

And they are protecting my right to feel this way.

I guess I'm just tired of another four years of feeling that I need to explain myself. I support the troops but not the president, does that make me less of an American?

Here's one thing for damn sure, though. It strengthened my resolve to work harder to take our country back.

I just didn't expect it to come from a Lettermans concert. In Atlantic City, of all places.

Sigh. The soapbox is gone now. Just me. Frustrated. But I've got a week of rest. The new job starts on the 18th. I can start fighting again then. Until then, I better pack and get some rest.

I have too much shit.

After taking two days from the house renovation/unpacking/clearing 25 years worth of clutter for a fabulous New Year's at Ross's with friends - hell, we're more than all friends, we're family - I was not eager to jump back into working mode.

But I have no choice. So Young is moving back to New York and my parents are coming on Thursday.

Back to "While You Were Out". God, I wish I was motivated when I didn't have a fire lit underneath me. I would actually get some sleep.

Yet, it is not only my New Year's Intention (so much better than resolution) to live a more healthy lifestyle, but also a more feng shui'd lifestyle.

But how much is appropriate to keep from your past? I was cleaning out the other small guest room and ran across four or five more boxes of my shit. Plus I have a living room full of shit from moving out of NYC. I feel like I have run the gamut - I've cleared up or seen most of my stuff from college and Coro and now I'm hitting my professional life stuff (if you can call it that). Add in clothes, random tchokies, toys, stuffed animals, files, and posters - and you've got the mountain of mess that I am currently staring at in my room. Damnhellass. Many people prefer to just throw it all away. I can't seem to do it. It was my life and there were parts that were too good to throw away.

I suppose that I could, however, do without the one foot Cartman doll.

Or, I could throw it in the guest room next to mine. Not a bad idea. I can throw many stuffed animals over there. It adds to the folksy charm of the house.

Hmm.

Where else can I store folksy charm?

If I move things to the basement, they may never see the light of day again. So should I just throw it away? Probably. I think that's a rule from here on out. But I just am running out of space. If my dad hadn't already commented to me that he thinks this house has become my warehouse and storage space, I really wouldn't care. But the Christ! I've already created bags and bags worth of shit, I can't believe that I still have this much shit.

Not too hard to understand, though. I mean, in my defense, it is seven years worth of shit - parts of it 25 years worth of shit. I started storing things here in college since the house is close to school. So imagine four years of college - moving out of the dorms and just throwing your crap in one place, but never really going through it. Then imagine moving to New York City for three years, living in three different apartments, throwing boxes of stuff you don't really need in your apartment - and are too busy to adequately weed out so you just need to put your stuff somewhere - in one place.

That's what I'm dealing with. Seven years of moving. I only lived in one place for longer than a year. And even then, I moved for five to six months before heading back here. I don't mean to be a pack rat, but I also never really allowed myself the time to pack in a way that would be effective, meaning that I just threw shit into boxes or bags and moved them from one place to another instead of giving myself time to weed out and throw away before leaving.

This is worse than moving, though. Because it also coincides with work on the house. And if anyone's been to my house in Delaware, you know that it's not more than just needed, but that there's also a lot of shit in this house that needs to be thrown out and given to the Salvation Army. Because it isn't just a dumping ground for me, either. My folks might bitch and moan, but there is plenty of shit that is here that is theirs that they haven't touched in years or have brought from the house in Syracuse or apartments along the way. Not entirely fair, but they are both older and not in the best physical condition, so besides being happy that So Young has been helping me, I suppose that it's up to me to make sure that things are done.

I have cleaned out two rooms upstairs full of shit from the 70's and beyond. We've de-wallpapered two rooms and painted them. We have moved furniture around. And on top of that, I have to go through my shit. If there was at least one room that was completely empty, that would have improved the situation. But alas, it is what it is. We're working on getting rid of the wallpaper in the front foyer and stairs as well as the ceiling in the kitchen where the wallpaper has extensive water damage or has come off. The problem is that once you start working on one of those, you see other problem spots. Not neat at all.

So I doubt this is entertaining for any of you. Except that I'm kvetching to you. Sure, it would be easy to say to me, "Throw it all away". I'm trying, dammit!

The good news is that since my most recent stuff is already downstairs, it'll make it easier to pack. But I still have at least five boxes worth of shit down there that I have no freakin' idea what to do with.

It's keeping me distracted from the fact that I still do not know when my new job starts or where I will finally be placed. Or the fact that NY State has decided to temporarily suspend my unemployment checks until I appear in person in Syracuse. But I don't know when I will be expected to go to work (now that we're much closer to my supposed starting weeks) and if it's next week, then I don't really need that check. Of course, if it's two weeks, then my ass is going to Syracuse to get that check. That's another story in itself.

Packing sucks. Unpacking sucks. Uncluttering is liberating, but taking forever. Hmmm. Now I'm getting the urge to throw all of this shit away. Better hop to it and do it now before I change my mind!

iPod-ilicious.

So I went ahead and spent the money on the new iPod photo. Happy half-Christmas-late-presidential-campaign-trail-gift-to-myself. This means that not only did I decide that I worked long on hard out there in Iowa (and sometimes Seattle) that I decided I wanted to do something good for myself. Plus, my folks gave me half of the money for it for Christmas. Happy holidays, indeed.

Except that despite my best efforts, I still think RAM is a football team. So I've already restarted my iPod at least five times since I bought it. Of course, in my state of wakefulness (notice that I post this at 7am, meaning that I have been awake this whole time), or in a state of totchiness on the Apple folks' part (I'm sure they are very nice and well-meaning people), I can't seem to understand the directions.

Why couldn't they have at least given me the same thing they gave me when I got my iBook? Color pictures. With big, easy to read and understand fonts.

Granted, the information booklet that came with the iPod is extremely concise. But it just is missing some parts.

For the Christ, I can understand IKEA directions very well, why can't I understand this?

I've decided that because they forgot to put some important parts that I would write it out for them - and for anyone who decides to buy an iPod - especially the iPod photo since it's the newest one and everyone is still figuring out how to use them.

Oh, and I'll write "it in my oowwwn words." Regards to Oda May. C'mon, you knew that line was from "Ghost".

1. When you take your iPod out of the box, it will turn on and the picture will be the Apple icon. Don't be scared. It's supposed to be like that. And don't think that you are stupid because the Apple icon stays on and you can't get to the nice menu that you saw in the store. It's supposed to stay there until the iPod is fully charged. So don't keep restarting it and wondering where all your good money went. And as an extra tip, don't bang your head against your desk and/or wall. It'll be fine. I promise. Unless there is a defect in the manufacturing, but I hear that it's so well controlled that chances are likely it's just fine.

2. When you download the software that they gave you, don't worry when the installer pops up and says "connect iPod to computer to update" and you do what they tell you and nothing happens. Apparently, if the iPod doesn't need the update (if it's brand new, it probably won't - but see note 1 about "defects" just in case) so it'll just ignore that you have plugged it in. Again, no need for physical harm to your person. It'll be fine.

3. When in doubt, reset the iPod. Especially if you can't figure out why that stupid Musical trivia game keeps getting stuck. I have no idea why it does that.

4. When it says "Do not disconnect" it means it. Don't.

5. Make sure you have all the updates and software required for the iPod. Don't be a fool like me and find out you need to spend an additional $50 because you don't happen to have the last three updates on a program that you didn't even know existed on your computer.

6. Expect to spend a few hours figuring this out. Hell, since I was so nice to tell you about it, I just saved you at least two. It has taken me almost 8 hours. Damn, I should have been getting paid.

Yeah. A little annoyed. Still giddy to have my iPod, but a little less so. So for those of you still pouting that you don't have one, just be assured that the iPod not only makes you pay for it, it makes you work for it when you first get it. Of course, it's sweet as hell, but I'm just trying to put a positive spin on it. You bet your ass I'm happy I bought it.

Now I just have to live in eternal vigilance over it. Argh.

But it's still pretty damn sweet.

Light a candle...

To the best El Gallo in the world, none other than Baby's Daddy - Jerry Orbach.

And to Callie, Lindsay and Brian's dog. May she find the big fire hydrant in the sky.

I'll never watch TV the same way again.

I know it's been awhile, but those of you who know me know that I can't just take a vacation. No, instead, I turned a month and a few weeks into a home renovation project. Neat. But I'm trying to be good about it. So Young and I take breaks every now and then. Like when Jill and Fabs were here. Or this past week, spending Christmas back home in Syracuse.

I won't regale you with boring stories of a very relaxed and fairly boring Christmas with the folks. I only have two things to impart after a fabulous trip home, anyway.

First, is anyone else who is my age disturbed by the number of weddings or engagements of their fellow high school friends? Because everyone I know is either affianced or married. Well, not everyone. But enough to disturb me. Not that marriage or my friends being happy disturbs me, it's just that it's weird to think that my friends from yonder in my past are now married. Or even stranger was finding out my junior prom date, who has been happily married for a few years now, is a father. I still think of him running around the halls of the high school performing wrestling moves (we're talking WWF, not uni-tard with protective gear wrestling) on our friends. See? Weird.

Random injected thought: why do flu shots hurt like a bitch? Damn! And yes, I managed to get a flu shot. I know I'm not high-risk, but now that the government actually has enough, people aren't running to get it because everyone still thinks there is a shortage. Hah. Of course, my arm hurts like a bitch. Damn! (I blame Napoleon Dynamite for this random stream)

Second, I'll never watch TV the same again because of Ooter's sick tripped-out pad in the 'Cuse. Her dad was working on the new additions just this summer and this trip home, it was all done. See, they have a "movie room" in their house now - complete with heated floors, stadium-style seating (it's really just two rows, but still), comfy and huge leather couches, a nine foot hi-def projection screen - I mean, it's intense. And the night before leaving 'Cuse, Oot had a Monday night football party with assorted friends from FM and BHMC and I brought Steve and Sugene, who proceeded to stare, as I had, at the screen with mouths sort of hanging open in an "oh my god" kind of way. Intense.

Even my parent's 46 inch flat screen was a dissapointment after that. Imagine how I feel turning on the 13 inch in my room.

I'll just never look at TV the same. Damn!

Damn, I miss the Big Apple.

So Young and I drove up yesterday to go to holiday parties with our former co-workers and do some errands and see some friends.

I've had a fabulous time so far and I will fully report on it, but there is something I quickly want to pass onto anyone who actually reads this.

As I walked from the 4/5 at City Hall towards my old office at Citizens Union, I saw this very white guy with his black friend crossing the street in front of me. Sure, it's New York. But what attracted me to the white guy was the fact that he was wearing jeans below his ass with a studded belt and his man panties (boxer briefs) were hanging out. He wore a v-neck tight sweater with a smallish jean jacket. He walked with a swagger that only Eminem-wannabes could have. He talked like Kenny, or "Special K" from Can't Hardly Wait.

And he had an iPod hanging perilously off of his left hip, balanced only by a small piece of metal, as he swaggered across the street.

Now, I have left my tendency to swipe a few things behind in the many gift shops along highways.

But I was tempted.

I passed the test. But here were a few thoughts running through my head:

1. If you're gonna go "gangsta" do it right. Don't look like a cross between Moby, Archie, and Elvis Costello wearing your studded belt big-ass jeans below your ass so the whole world can see your man panties. Wear the xxl shirt and cover that up, yo. Lose the tight v-neck sweater. And wear a puff jacket, for chrissakes.

2. Um, don't put your expensive iPod on the hip of your jeans where it will hang by your knees. You deserve to have me or some other thug monkey swipe that, dumbass.

and finally:

3. Why can't I have an iPod?

Ah. Christmas in a week. I can at least take care of that one...

I'm sick.

Well, not sick sick because that would just be easier. Instead, I've got a weird allergy/sinus thing happening. And it's freaking annoying as hell!

But yesterday, So Young and I took my grandmother to DC and it was a day of memories for me. We drove down through Chestertown, past good 'ol Washington College. Then we drove over the bridge (and yes, I played the bridge song - know your roots) and through Annapolis (god, it's a gorgeous town). Then we hit 50E right into DC on New York Avenue and drove to my usual spots. This time, we avoided Georgetown and hit the Archives and the Museum of American History. So Young went to see the Hope Diamond (why do I think it's nothing to write home about?) while Mamang and I toured the First Lady gallery (much more my speed).

So then Mamang was tired so we headed home north through Baltimore this time (just making a big loop). We went into Bawlmer for dinner and went to the Paper Moon Diner, around the corner from my old apartment (the Joy Pad) where we feasted on my favorite dish they make (Turkey Powerhouse). Then it was back home to Delaware (god, I called it home) but first we stopped at the 24-hour Walmart to get draino for the kitchen sink. Yes, So Young and I have been there a lot in the past two weeks, but last night, I was reminded of how often Rossie and I would go at 2am to get out of Chestertown.

Ah. Memories. Now I need to go and blow my nose. I hate being sicky.

Look, Garth, I'm in Delaware...

So Young and I took quite some time getting out of NYC but that's because it was only the two of us moving things out of the apartment, onto the elevator, down the elevator, down a flight of stairs, and then into the truck. Then we had to drive to DE. We didn't get here until 5am or some ridiculous hour like that.

But we still went to the 24-hour Walmart.

Now I know that since I am officially employed by a union that I need to stop going to Wal-mart. But since I've come back to DE and we've been sleeping odd hours, the only place open has been Walmart. And since we're doing some renovations, it is much cheaper than Home Depot or Lowes.

Of course, after going to Walmart twice in one day, I remembered exactly why I hate it. And we all should.

For one, there was an employee who was waiting on the management to relieve her from her shift. She waited over an hour and was still waiting when we left. Not neat.

And at two different Walmarts in one day, we saw two different fights.

That's right.

Now you might be wondering, "is that because it's Walmart or because you're in Delaware?"

To be honest, I wasn't sure of the correct answer to that. But after having been here a week, I assure you that it's Wal-hole.

The first fight started some aisles down from us at around 2am. All of a sudden we heard screaming and yelling that sounded like this:

Dumbass 1( DA1): "What the hell is your problem?"

Dumbass 2 (DA2) "What's your problem?"

DA1: "I'm looking for a sign to put on my car because I'm selling it, do you have a fucking problem with that?"

DA2: "What the fuck is wrong with you?"

DA1: "Why you gotta be all up in my shit?"

DA2: "You trying to start something?"

DA1: "You're lucky I don't have my gatt here, I'd pop a cap in your ass right now!"

DA2: "BRING IT, BITCH! We can go outside and I'll get my fucking shotgun!"

More yelling ensues, your typical pissing match, one guy trying to prove he's got a bigger penis.

Finally, Walmart security (don't laugh) kicked them out. Soon, the whole place was talking about the fight. Turns out they were fighting because Dumbass 2 was staring at Dumbass 1 while Dumbass 1 was looking for "For Sale" signs. Hi, if you're severely unbalanced and will threaten to "pop a cap in someone's ass" because they were looking at you funny for a second, you shouldn't go out in public.

The second fight happened right in front of us. To be specific, in the parking space next to us. We happened to be returning to the car when we heard this woman in a minivan hanging out of the window yelling at the car that had just parked next to me.

Dumbass lady in white van (Stupid): Hello?!! I've been waiting here for five minutes. I know you saw me. What the hell is wrong with you?!! I was waiting.

Car full of family on their way to Walmart (Spacetakers): [walking away, but turning around to hear Stupid]

Stupid: "Yeah, that's right. I'm talking to you. Go ahead, have a good time in there. I'll still be here when you get back, you'll just have four slashed tires."

Spacetaker 1: [whipping around] "Bitch! What the fuck is your problem?"

Stupid: "My problem is that I've been waiting here for five minutes for that spot and you just up and take it!"

Spacetaker 2: "What the fuck is wrong with you? We parked there, bitch!"

Stupid: "And I'll fuck up your car!"

Spacetaker 3: "Bitch, I will slap you!"

Stupid: "I'll fucking bitchslap you!"

Spacetaker 1: "Get out of the car!"

Stupid gets out of the car, arms extended, head bobbing left to right.

Stupid: "Yeah, bitch, what you gonna do?"

Spacetaker 2: "I'm gonna fuck you up!"

Stupid: "Go ahead and try!"

Spacetaker 4: "Your name ain't on the parking space! Get the fuck back in your car and wait, bitch!"

This whole time, we're just putting shit in the car and trying to get out of there. Hey stupid lady in the white van, I'm leaving. You can take my spot.

'Tis the season to be merry, right? What the hell. It was just a parking space!

God. i'm in Delaware.

Okay. It's official.

Moving sucks.

I mean, I always knew that. But this one in particular is difficult because I can't seem to get my body to get to a normal schedule (i.e. I continue to sleep in against my will). Sure, you say. But it's true. The alarm goes off at 9 or 10am and I don't hear it. I sleep through it. And then I hear it and I try to get up after shutting it off and I fail miserably to get out of bed and pass out again until 1pm.

Everyone says I earned it.

But I'm gonna need something else to get me out of bed so that I have more time in the day.

As for moving and packing, well, it just sucks. I'm busy just sorting through shit all the time and remembering random things about them.

Plus, I'm sad as hell to be moving.

So tonight, So Young and I went for a drive around Manhattan, since it's our last night here for a little while. We drove by Rockefeller, we drove by St. Thomas Moore, the Met, got Tasty D-lite, and drove by the WTC Site.

Fabs and So Young and I also went to the Lincoln Center Tree Lighting where we ran into the same band I marched with at the year-afer Iraq protest. We then went to the Olive Tree Cafe. Nice evening.

Now I'm back, packing.

I should also mention that on 39th Street, we saw a bar where there were a group of hot guys at the bar watching...

...ice dancing.

They were all watching, too.

Only in New York.

Awww.

Happy post-Turkey day, everybodee!

So I tried to blog last night, but there was something wrong with the server. Damnhellass.

We had a fabulous turkey day, complete with fabulous turkey. So much food for four people, but we sho' did enjoy.

So I'm sitting here, attempting to pack up my room, but immobilized in front of the TV. When I woke up this afternoon (yes, this afternoon, So Young and me were running interference friend intervention last night - don't ask, but we got home around 4am), I turned on the tube in an attempt to focus my eyes, and saw college football was on. I thought to myself, "Yeah, I never get to see the Syracuse games."

Guess what? Orange playing BC.

And kicking some serious ass in the last game of the Big East. Of course, as I write that, the Eagles intercepted a punt to Syracuse and scored. Motherof! I don't usually have poison tongue, turns out that BC has good special teams, but whatever. Either way, I'm blogging while I watch my home team plizay.

It's so strange, coming from a college town. You catch your hometeam playing seven years after leaving home and you still feel like you are back home and it reminds you of watching games with your family and friends in the fall. Good memories. Awww.

But I did learn that not only is my grandmother a cutie-patootie muffin, but my grandmother is also a rank-and-file member of AFSCME, which is for whom I work. Pretty neat!

Oy. Apologies if this isn't very titillating right now, I'm distracted by football and I've got to start packing again. Oy. Moving ain't fun. Especially this move since I feel like I had just taken my stuff out of boxes before I left for Seattle. Gah. But everything happens for a reason, ain't so happy to leave NYC, but sometimes you've just got to. There's a whole world out there, I gotta keep reminding myself. Even if it means going to live in what Fabs fondly calls "the toilet god forgot to flush."

In the meantime, I'll hang in the armpit of the East Coast at our home in Delaware and play "While You Were Out" with So Young. Argh. Packing to do!

Ahhh, good to be home.

Welcome to the new and improved Monkeehaus!

The Monkeehaus is back and better than ever and all of your favorite links are here. I am, of course, assuming that someone reads this thing. I have found that since my experiences on "The Trail" that I have quite a following of people who actually want to read my thoughts. Well, that's good to know. So I have included links back to "Tales from the Trail" as well as pictures from the trail in the sidebar on the right. I am also now keeping track of folks who are visiting and will include a guestbook soon. Of course, my next project is to update the website which is so old now. But small steps, folks.

So here's a pseudo update on me and I will be back to posting in no time!

Some thoughts I've had recently:

1. Apparently, Megan was having a to-do because some woman has a knitting blog named "monkeyknits" and Megan thought I should sue. I would sue the girl for using the monkey as a prefix, however, upon further inspection, it seems that I have no grounds. I am, afterall, MonkEE and she can still retain MonkEY. So we’re all good in that hood.

2. Coro events are still a lot of fun and good networking opportunities. Apparently, I made some sort of splash at last year’s Selection Day (the day the finalists for Coro are chosen) that many of the current Fellows remember me and want to talk to me. Yipes. This is a good thing, right?

3. What is with the new skinny scarves being in? What does that cover? A mole above your throat?

4. I am in the process of moving out of my apartment - it's a loooong story - and I haven’t been packing to move out of my apartment not because of sheer procrastination, but because Noel’s two-year old nephew is in town and the child in me has come out. On one hand, I see myself procrastinating the inevitable. On the other hand, I’ve made a two-year old friend. Nesting syndrome. Nesting syndrome. Warning. Warning. No need to panic. I have a hard enough time choosing what jacket to wear, let alone find a man that I wish to marry and have cute babies with. One thing at a time.

5. Won’t be going home for Thanksgiving because I have to pack. But Fab makes a fabulous (her-bulous) turkey. I’ll be picking up my grandmother in Brooklyn on Wednesday and from Wednesday to Friday, it’s hang out time in East Harlem with my best friend, my adorable Korean roommate, and my adorable muffin of a grandmother. Can you say Blockbuster Video?

6. If you have food left in your fridge from before Seattle or Iowa, throw it out and don’t cook it. I learned the hard way. Your stomach – and colon - will thank you. Don’t ever say that I didn’t give you good advice.

7. Having a best friend as a manager of a restaurant in the West Village is adventageous. Freebie drinks and dessert. Been twice already. Which is good, ‘cause I had to throw away a lot of food (see number 6).

8. Ani DiFranco is AWESOME solo. Fee-fi-fo-fucking douche bag behind me wasn’t. Look, if your girlfriend drags you to an Ani DiFranco concert, your penis will not get ripped off. So stop being an asshole and ruining my sixth row aisle listening experience by talking through the concert, booing when she says that we should be proud of the work we did during the Presidential election, and groping your girlfriend during a song about coveting another man’s wife shamelessly. Assjack. I knew I should have turned around and punched him in the neck.

9. I have successfully taught my roommates, Korea and Pina Colada (psudonyms to protect the innocent) how to knit. In return, I will be learning how to crochet. Hmmm. Perhaps this is what we will do when my cutie patootie grandmother is over here for two days.

10. Walking tacos are still disgusting. If you don't know what this is, check out the "Tales from the Trail". Okay, to save you some time, imagine a taco in a Doritos bag without the taco shell and you have a walking taco.

11. However, Frito pies are good. Went to the Cowgirl saloon the other day and in honor of Iowa, ordered up a frito pie, which is essentially a walking taco. But since I was in NYC, it felt different. Quite good.

12. Sims 2 is awesome. I highly recommend it. Of course, it is contributing to my lack of packing up my apartment, but what the hell, that game rocks. Oh yes, that game will be mine.

13. My Lance Armstrong bracelets haven’t arrived yet and I’m moving out of the city in a week. Of course, I also made a mistake and had them shipped to the old apartment down the hall. Smooth move, ex lax.

And finally, what I will be doing very shortly

14. Why is New Jersey called the Garden State? Because they couldn’t fit oil and petrochemical refinery on the license plate (name the movie. Seriously. Name it). I find that since I have had a dalliance with AFSCME, I find myself saying things I never would have said otherwise. So here’s one to add to the books along with “I’m going to Iowa. On purpose.” - Move over Big Apple, Jersey, here I come.

That's right, I'm leaving the bright lights, big city for the state that is in it's shadow. So the Jersey jokes officially stop from my end because I'll be working with AFSCME to ensure that the state stays in Democratic hands. Remember what I said in Tales from the Trail? That's right, the fight begins anew. One state at a time if we have to - we will regroup and take back our country.

So in the meantime, I will be spending a month at the house in Delaware playing "While You Were Out" and cleaning and repainting and doing all of that fun stuff. I will miss NYC terribly, but there is work to do out there in that big world and I will be able to return to my beloved city in a much better place financially and mentally. So here's to my city that I sadly leave in a week. Time to pack. Or sleep. Whichever comes first.

The Monkeehaus is officially on hiatus!

That's right! While I'm in Seattle, check out my other blog, "Tales from the Trail" which can keep you updated on my EVERYDAY activities on the campaign trail! I know I've not been great about keeping up to date, but I'm determined as hell to log this crazy journey I'm calling Campaign 2004.

So check it out at http://monkeeinseattle.blogspot.com.

I will return to this page when it's all over. Enjoy!

So I went to Michael's blog and saw he had taken a relationship quiz. I know I'm single, but what the hell - I've gota ridiculous amount of things on my plate and if I want to take a minute to take a quiz, I figure, why the heck not?

I got an interesting mix for an answer. So I took it again. I got a better answer, but I think I'm sort of between the two.

Here's the one I'm more like:
Expressive Practical Intellectual Giver. This makes you a Catch.

• You are a magazine-cover, matinee idol dreamboat.
• Parents love you and want to set you up with their kids.
• However, first dates are tough because it takes time for your qualities to come out.
• You are generous and kind.
• You think first and act later.
• You are cool in a conflict, but your practical side means if your partner throws out emotional appeals ("why can't we do what I want for a change?") they will grate on your nerves, even when the conflict is resolved.
• You're a romantic.
• You enjoy the thrill of the hunt, and you don't just fall into bed with anyone.
• You pay close attention to your significant other's needs, and this makes you an excellent lover and partner.
• The problem is that your friends and lovers may find it so easy to express things to *you* that they lose sight of whether you feel as comfortable with *them*! This doesn't necessarily make you feel under-appreciated -- you're too well-adjusted and self-aware for that -- but you may feel restless. Thus you seek adventure in your life outside the relationship to prove and actualize yourself.
• Of all the types, you would make the best parent.
• You are coiffed. Didja see "Big Fish"? 'Cause you're like Ewan MacGregor in "Big Fish."
• Of the 14743 people who have taken this quiz, 8.2 % are this type.

Interesting.

On the other hand, I took a "Which West Wing Character are you Most Like?" Quiz and came up with Jed Bartlett as my number one. Leave it to a dork like me to be wicked excited about that:

Your Top Three Matches Are:

1. Jed Bartlet. You ahve the capacity for brilliance, and you know it, too. Your faith in yourself can lead you far, but it also makes you stubborn as hell. Honor is everything to you, and compromise never sits easily.

2. Sam Seaborn. Self-effacing and sensitive to others' needs, you tend to internalize your own frustrations. You have incredible faith in the goodness of people, and colliding with harsh reality can be painful.

3. Leo McGarry. Rational and realistic, you keep tightly self-controlled. you have a sort fuse, but you balance it with a dry sense of fun. Unforgiving of your own weaknesses, you're loyal to a fault to others.

Yessiree, I'm procrastinating pretty hard core today. Otay. Back to work.

Okay. So I've been busy. And I have something to announce to everyone who reads this.

By the way, do many of you read this?

...

I guess I'll never really know.

So anyway, here's my big news:

I'm leaving New York City. Well, temporarily. So I think.

Lemme clarify.

I've accepted a job offer with AFSCME to assit in coordinating the western region of Washington State for the Presidential, Congressional, Gubernatorial, and State races. I'm leaving for Seattle in less than two weeks. AAAGGH!

So I've been awfully busy cleaning up all the stuff that needs to be taken care of here. We just moved apartments, I just got a new car - and I'm going to the left Coast. Sweet.

Technically, I should return to NYC after the election is over. What shall I do then, you ask? Just see where life takes me, whether it be grad school or another jobbie or going home for a little while - I'm excited about all of the prospects. I'm not ready to leave NYC yet, but it's the impetus for bigger and better things - and a little risk never hurt anyone before.

So I plan on being much much better at this blogging thing. Either that, or I'll be updating my website with pictures and adventures from the campaign trail. Seriously, I've never been to Seattle before and I'm ridiculously excited to get a chance to live there for just a little while. I've always thought I'd enjoy that town. So I'm about to find out.

Yes, I will be busy, but I'll have many adventures to share! So keep checking back here. If I get a spare moment between packing and all the other crap I have to do before I leave, I'll try to post one more time. But seriously, I plan on sharing much with anyone who will listen, so look out!

In the meantime, here is a great article I came across in the Washington Post the other day. Enjoy!

Do You Hear What I Hear?
The Washington Post
By Dana Milbank
Tuesday, August 24, 2004; Page A15

The 2004 presidential campaign sometimes resembles the children's game of "telephone." Here are some quotations as they came out of Democratic nominee John F. Kerry's mouth -- and how President Bush and Vice President Cheney later recounted them.

"Every performer tonight in their own way, either verbally or through their music, through their lyrics, have conveyed to you the heart and soul of our country." -- Kerry, July 8

"The other day, my opponent said he thought you could find the heart and soul of America in Hollywood." -- Bush, Aug. 18

"My goal, my diplomacy, my statesmanship is to get our troops reduced in number and I believe if you do the statesmanship properly, I believe if you do the kind of alliance building that is available to us, that it's appropriate to have a goal of reducing the troops over that period of time [the first six months of a Kerry administration]. Obviously, we'd have to see how events unfold. . . . It is an appropriate goal to have and I'm going to try to achieve it." -- Kerry, Aug. 9

"I took exception when my opponent said if he's elected, we'll substantially reduce the troops in six months. He shouldn't have said that. See, it sends a mixed signal to the enemy for starters. So the enemy hangs around for six months and one day. . . . It says, maybe America isn't going to keep its word." -- Bush, Aug. 18

"I will fight this war on terror with the lessons I learned in war. I defended this country as a young man, and I will defend it as president of the United States. I believe I can fight a more effective, more thoughtful, more strategic, more proactive, more sensitive war on terror that reaches out to other nations and brings them to our side and lives up to American values in history. I lay out a strategy to strengthen our military, to build and lead strong alliances and reform our intelligence system. I set out a path to win the peace in Iraq and to get the terrorists wherever they may be before they get us." -- Kerry, Aug. 5

"Senator Kerry has also said that if he were in charge he would fight a 'more sensitive' war on terror. America has been in too many wars for any of our wishes, but not a one of them was won by being sensitive. . . . Those who threaten us and kill innocents around the world do not need to be treated more sensitively. They need to be destroyed." -- Cheney, Aug. 12

"Lee Hamilton, the co-chairman of the 9/11 commission, has said this administration is not moving with the urgency necessary to respond to our needs. I believe this administration and its policies is actually encouraging the recruitment of terrorists. We haven't done the work necessary to reach out to other countries. We haven't done the work necessary with the Muslim world. We haven't done the work necessary to protect our own ports, our chemical facilities, our nuclear facilities. There is a long, long list in the 9/11 recommendations that are undone."
-- Kerry, Aug. 2

"My opponent says . . . that going to war with the terrorists is actually improving their recruiting efforts. I think the logic -- I know the logic is upside down. It shows a misunderstanding of the nature of these people. See, during the 1990s, these killers and terrorists were recruiting and training for war with us, long before we went to war with them. They don't need an excuse for their hatred. It's wrong to blame America for anger and the evil of these killers. We don't create terrorists by fighting back. You defeat the terrorists by fighting back." -- Bush, Aug. 18

"Yes, I would have voted for the authority [to use force in Iraq]. I believe it is the right authority for a president to have. But I would have used that authority, as I have said throughout this campaign, effectively. I would have done this very differently from the way President Bush has. My question to President Bush is: Why did he rush to war without a plan to win the peace? Why did he rush to war on faulty intelligence and not do the hard work necessary to give America the truth?" -- Kerry, Aug. 9

"He now agrees it was the right decision to go into Iraq. After months of questioning my motives, and even my credibility, the Massachusetts senator now agrees with me that even though we have not found the stockpiles of weapons we all believed were there, knowing everything we know today, he would have voted to go into Iraq and remove Saddam Hussein from power." -- Bush, Aug. 18

Now for an update on the White House's ongoing effort to kill the press corps. The White House travel office signed a contract last week with an airline called Primaris to fly the press corps to Bush events. The two-month-old company has only one airplane. True, media representatives gave their blessing to the deal. But that was before they learned that the company's president twice had his pilot's license revoked related to his flying of an "unairworthy" aircraft, that the chief executive flopped in his last attempt to start an airline and that the 15-year-old plane itself was damaged in a hailstorm a decade ago and spent most of the past two years mothballed in France.